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Tomatomir OP t1_jaezdgo wrote

Reply to comment by LaPakawaka in My (26M) girlfriend (24F) wants me to propose before we move in together because it's against her family beliefs by Tomatomir

I "plan" to propose in a few months in the case that we will live together and confirm to each other that we can manage to live together, without anyones support/meddling and without wanting to "kill eachother" after being stuck together for 24H every day straight 😅 I find it a necessary step for a relationship that any couple should face before considering marriage..

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LaPakawaka t1_jaf0vfw wrote

So you do realize what you are asking of her? And it is whatever? If she loses her family support and you don’t propose AND marry her, it seems like she has a lot to lose on your living habits and expectations.

Living together or a long engagement/relationship is no guarantee of a happy and long marriage. She has a lot to lose; her family. She could do everything right and be the perfect living mate by most standards and you can still decide “you want to unalive her” bc she doesn’t put out the recycling the way you would have liked or she chews to loudly. That is a big risk for her and if she were my friend I would advise her against the risk.

I moved in the week of my wedding and have been married for 14ish years so I guess I am biased and don’t understand wanting to set up house with someone who would not commit and was willing to see me risk my family who supports me.

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