Ill-Inspector3071 OP t1_jaee8ea wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:57 PM

Reply to comment by MckittenMan in I (27F) broke up with my boyfriend (27M) of 4 years after he said he wasn't ready to live with me. Have I made the right decision? by Ill-Inspector3071

Thank you for saying this, I feel like I've felt like I've been going crazy. There's just always been some barrier to it. And I've lived in the same city in the past by moving out on my own and he would spend time with me there, but this wasn't permanent and I would move back home and we would be in separate cities again (so except for our 1 year in uni, we have lived in the same city for a total of about 7 months in the last over 3 years). I could in theory move back to the same city by myself and he could come by and stay with me, but I fear that's not the same level of commitment I am searching for.

MckittenMan t1_jaeijcs wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:24 PM

Exactly... barriers need to be broken down. You cannot have a permanent wall in a relationship. There needs progress in some form.

And that is a fair conclusion. You being the one moving there, would be like you're settling for less and the bigger contributor to put things in motion.

Might have been worth to just test his POV on moving to you. If he was completely against it, then I would assume things are very one-sided.

Ill-Inspector3071 OP t1_jaejude wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:32 PM

From my understanding, it's more the fact he doesn't want to leave home. Also my work is in his city too, so it wouldn't make sense for him to move in my direction unfortunately. So in this case there seems to be no resolve :(