I did a ldr for that many years. We had spent time a handful of times. I relate to many things you felt. I commend you for willing to move to him. The fact that he wasn't ready for it. Is more on him than you.

How many years do you want to keep this going?

Me and my ex lived worlds apart. He expected me to give up everything to move to him and didn't want to make any concessions...oh wait, he was willing to make one: he would swallow his pride and marry me to "make me happy". His sacrifice to marry me was his big self sacrifice.

What an asshole. I regret meeting him.

You have to live your life and make new experiences.