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trishsf t1_jaekvlr wrote

I would reach out and ask to see him. You two grew up together so there’s an enormous amount of history so I would hope because of that, he’d be willing to sit down and talk. Tell him everything you have said here. Then you listen because he’s shattered and you need to honor that. You didn’t do anything wrong but he still gets to be hurt. He may need some space but absolutely put your cards on the table. I think you start with… I made the biggest mistake of my life. You probably did need it though because it’s made it very clear that what you want is what you walked away from. You’ll regret it if you don’t try everything you can to just sit down and pour out your feelings.

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stellastellamaris t1_jael6p6 wrote

>I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I don’t know how to fix this (26F)(26M) submitted by ThrowRAJnphr

>My ex and I stayed together for 11 years and I broke up with him 4 months ago. Nothing wrong with him, he’s absolutely amazing, but we started dating when we were too young, he was already talking about marriage, and we had never experienced being with anyone else other than each other. I love him a lot, but I needed to make sure I wouldn’t feel like missing out if we get married. We still see each other often, we have the same friends group, but things are awkward between us now since the break up.

>I recently started casually seeing someone else, and all my friends told me my ex was really hurt when he heard about it, they say he spent the whole week crying. Turns out the guy I was seeing was a huge *sshole for many reasons, and I don’t need to date anyone else to know I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

>I really want to get back with my ex, but he’s avoiding me. As far as I know, he hasn’t even tried to date anyone else yet, but I don’t know if he would get back with me. To make things worse, the guy I was seeing made sure to tell my ex every detail of what we did, just to hurt him. He sent him some really disgusting and disrespectful text messages saying that he f* me (his words), and it only gets worse. I know about the text messages because a mutual close friends of ours told me and showed me the screenshots.

>I don’t know how to fix the mess I made, I really don’t know what to say or where to start.

The only way to know if he wants to get back together is to ask him.

I caution you against it, though. If you felt like talking marriage at age 26 after 11 years together was too soon and wanted to be with other people, then that hasn't changed just because you dated someone who turned out to be an asshole.

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