Submitted by ThrowRA_orangutan t3_10ukwso in relationship_advice
TLDR: the title, basically, with the additional information that she canceled with less than 30 minutes notice, only because I sent a two confirmation texts ahead of time.
I [29M] planned a coffee date with my hinge match [29F]. On the day of the date, she got weird, postponed the date 2 hours. I agreed. Then she didn't answer when I sent a confirmation text an hour beforehand, "are we still on for 4pm?" .... Thirty minutes before the date, I texted her again, something like, "I'm leaving now! Looking forward to seeing you, but please let me know if you want to cancel/are not planning on coming!" I sent this message because I had a feeling she wasn't coming. However, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt due to the fact that she had expressed enthusiasm about meeting me earlier in the week. Five minutes after my second text, she said 'I have to cancel, but would like to plan something else soon.' I was upset because I already agreed to postpone the date by 2 hours today and I just spent the last half-hour getting ready, giving myself a little pep talk in the mirror, shaving, getting dressed, cleaned up, etc. I saw her text just as I was getting in the car. Had she sent the text, a minute later, I'd have driven 20 minutes for no reason. I'm 100% certain she would have stood me up had I not sent the _second_ confirmation text. I was annoyed, but at least she mustered up the confidence to let me know rather than stand me up.
I let the situation sit for a while, then eventually I told her I didn't want to reschedule. I was as polite as I could possibly be, while being 100% honest that I felt she was inconsiderate for canceling so late, and that I'm convinced she would have stood me up. She did own it and apologize, which I accepted for sure. She explained how she was freaked out because I didn't text her the day before, which I found confusing. From my perspective, she didn't text me, as I sent the last message on the day previous to that. She admitted to overthinking and I believe her explanation. Now, she is asking for a second chance and I'm not sure what the right decision is. I'm a little intimidated by the fact that she read so much into a lack of text messages to the point that she was going to stand me up. I also really don't even know if she's right person for me anyway, so I'm just overwhelmed feeling like maybe it's nicer to give a second chance, but maybe it wouldn't be worth the effort anyways. I feel like I invested a lot of emotional energy and I'm not sure whether I owe her a second chance, especially if I might end up expending more of my energy if it doesn't go well. Wondering what independent perspectives think. Thoughts?