Submitted by Ghostedgirldead t3_11b8t7l in relationship_advice
Hi, looking for opinions and advice…. Been dating bf (29M) for almost 2 1/2 years. I’m older (42F) and have two teen kids (18 and 15) he has one child (5). I have been the main breadwinner whole relationship, he has worked sporadically and has gotten his daughter almost every weekend. I babysat a few times if he was working at the time and had to work on a Saturday. Recently he finally got a more steady job at a restaurant. He works every weekend. Friday 3-12, Saturday 8a-4, Sunday 12-7. I said I did not want to babysit every weekend and asked him to switch visitation to every other weekend and suggested he gets her on his days off instead (mon and tues). Have no problem with her being here every week on those days as long as he is here to be with her. On the every other weekend that she will be here I was under the assumption that since he would not be home see her until late Saturday afternoon that she would dropped off sometime on Saturday and I would gladly watch her for a few hours until he got home and she could stay the night and then BM would pick her up early Sunday afternoon. Instead he behind my back told BM to drop daughter off Friday at 4:30 and pick her up Sunday night at 7 pm. Without asking me and I have repeatedly said I DO NOT want to babysit the entire weekend. To clarify I work a full time job T-F and go to online school full time as well. Weekends is mostly when I study and do homework. I try and do some of it on weekdays but I get up super early for work (3:30 am) so I’m tired a lot. On Fridays I get up at 2:30 am for work and don’t get home until 3:30 pm. I am exhausted on Fridays and usually have 1-2 homework assignments due as well. On the weekends I would like to study, do homework, relax, and spend time with my own kids. Can’t really do much of that while babysitting because she is extremely needy and attention seeking. I do not understand the point of having her over from Friday after school until Sunday night if her dad will not be here barely at all to care for her or spend time with her. Especially when I have said I do not want to be responsible for her for the entire weekend. He says I am trying to keep his daughter away, not true I have no problem with her being here while he is here. I feel disrespected and used and am thinking of ending relationship over this. What would you do?