Submitted by [deleted] t3_126f3do in relationship_advice
My bf (24M) and I (19F) have been together for two and half years now, and friends for almost seven. We really love each other, and I’ve always considered him my best friend. A year and half ago, he moved from SC to NJ to be with me.
About a year ago, I found out he was using Tinder while we were together, and even caught him out on a date with another girl. He also has a history of cheating. At the time, I wasn’t ready to leave the relationship, so I stayed, and things got a lot better.
He completely changed as a person, became more aware of my needs and supportive, the best boyfriend ever for almost a year now with none of me catching him texting ex’s or on dating apps.
Today, I found out that he’s been looking at trans girls who have NSFW accounts on Reddit. His account is linked to an email that we share. He had a bunch of posts from one girl in particular in his saved. When I brought it up, I reminded him that I’m accepting of who he is no matter what, since I’m his best friend first. He still denied looking at anything even similar.
I don’t mind him watching porn in our relationship, and we’re very open about our sexuality. But I noticed we haven’t had sx in about two weeks (which is very unusual for us) and I’m almost positive it’s related to this issue. He doesn’t get causally turned on from me like he used to either (butt grabs, random compliments, etc). When I brought this up, he got really upset and said he didn’t understand why it made me cry. (We fcked for the first time in weeks tonight and he kept stopping to watch the show on the tv)
Lastly, about a month ago I noticed he was signed in to the throwaway accounts he was using to talk to other girls a year ago. He said he signed in by accident, but he had made a comment from one of the accounts. He said he’ll sign out and delete the accounts, but tonight I found out he’s still signed into the older one.
He’s says he feels fine about us sexually, and reassured me that “his heart is still with me” (maybe just his d*ck isn’t?). I believe him, since he writes me love letters and is always determined to make me happy. I don’t want to overreact to the situation, but I’m scared this is the first sign of him falling into old habits. What should I do?
TLDR; my bf with a history of cheating has been saving naked pics of trans girls, and I think it’s affecting our s*x life. We love each other very much, and live together, so I don’t want to overreact to the situation, but I also don’t want to get cheated on again. I’m not sure what to do.
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