ThrowRA_KindSoul OP t1_jef2hxr wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:26 PM

Reply to comment by MikeLanglois in I (38M) am a video gamer/hobbyist streamer. My SO (40F) is not. by ThrowRA_KindSoul

She enjoys going to concerts! Which we usually go to 2 -3 a month. She likes to read and has tons of books to catch up on. Perhaps we could take the time to read each night. (Even though I'm not a big reader myself).

Relationships do require a lot of attention. I feel like I see my friends online (Specifically the ones we've seen get married) and as a couple they love doing the online thing as a couple. I've tried to welcome her into my social circle online, as I don't want her to be lonely. She tells me she's just not comfortable being a part of my group of friends online. Which, they've all tried to welcome her as best they can.

Perhaps though, this is just not something my girlfriend does not want to do and would rather be offline. Maybe I need to further reduce my online time but having come from doing this every evening (before our relationship), down to 3 evenings a week seems like a big compromise on my part.

Thanks for your response MikeLanglois!

MikeLanglois t1_jef4pk2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:41 PM

Theres some good ideas there. You may not like reading but it sounds like she didnt like but still tried your hobby so give it a go. Theres a happy medium ground, maybe get some video game related books that you might enjoy reading more?

>I feel like I see my friends online (Specifically the ones we've seen get married) and as a couple they love doing the online thing as a couple.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Those couples might both enjoy those things, but it sounds like your partner doesnt. Thats not a bad thing. It sounds like shes more of an in-person social person rather than online.

>Perhaps though, this is just not something my girlfriend does not want to do and would rather be offline. Maybe I need to further reduce my online time but having come from doing this every evening, down to 3 evenings a week seems like a big compromise on my part.

It can be hard transitioning from a single lifestyle full of time for hobbies to in a relationship, but there is a balance that can be made. At the moment I imagine she feels like shes only there to have the intimate parts of the relationship.

As a straight to the point question, on an average evening at home, would you rather spend time with your partner, or be online with your friends? Theres no wrong answer.