Submitted by ihavesomequestionz1 t3_12819d8 in relationship_advice
Aussiealterego t1_jegul3q wrote
Get legal advice. There are a number of resources locally that might be able to help you sort through this, if you look up your local community centre they might be able to offer you some sort of counselling to help you sort through it.
From a legal standpoint, here's a checklist.
When you describe your husband, you mentioned his being on the spectrum - this might influence his behaviour, but being neurodivergent is no excuse to be an arsehole. That is a CHOICE that he is making.
You are absolutely in an emotionally abusive relationship, if your daughter is begging you to get out, it's WAY past time for you to have made a move. Every day you stay with him is giving him another opportunity to hurt and emotionally stunt your daughter.
I absolutely give you props for posting here, this is a hard decision to make, and you've already made the first step. Keep the momentum going, actually make a plan to leave. Figure out what you are entitled to in terms of child support payments and talk to someone in social services about the likelihood of housing support, and what paths to follow.
Good luck.
ihavesomequestionz1 OP t1_jegvex6 wrote
Thanks so much. I have time tomorrow and will go through the link you sent. I agree with you that he chooses this behaviour, as he treats his friends (he only has 2 or 3) and even strangers much kinder. Will listen to their problems and comfort people. But he won't do that at home. He was better with my daughter when she was a baby. But when she started to talk he backed away. Like I say, he hates communication. This is damaging to my daughter. She is so smart, as in, years ahead of her age academically. So she doesn't miss much, she catches everything he does. She has basically given up waiting for him to show love.
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