My 23M boyfriend will not agree with me 28F 6years

Submitted by Independent-Peace704 t3_12818cj in relationship_advice

Please help us settle an argument.

So my boyfriend says I’m not allowed to drink at home by myself. His argument is that alcohol is acceptable/makes sense as a social lubricant but drinking alone at home is the beginning of a dangerous addiction. My argument is that I would rather drink at home by myself because my only option of people I can drink with I don’t like. And I don’t see why I have to spend time with people I don’t like in order to have a drink. I feel that I do not have addiction problems when it come to alcohol. I used to be addicted to weed but that was over 4 years ago. At the moment I drink socially about once or twice a fortnight.

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TattooPuddle t1_jegqpmy wrote

This isn't a judgement sub. Did you want advice on how to talk to your partner and come to a compromise?

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Independent-Peace704 OP t1_jegqroi wrote

Yes please

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TattooPuddle t1_jegqx2f wrote

Do you guys live together?

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Independent-Peace704 OP t1_jegrct1 wrote

Yes

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TattooPuddle t1_jegs30h wrote

Unless he's trying to "forbid" you, then you can just keep doing what you're doing. If he does try, have a sit down and ask if he would feel more comfortable if you just avoided doing it when he's around.

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epsileth t1_jegr9nw wrote

Say no. If he pitches a fit or gets violent, time for a new bf?

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StarryCloudRat t1_jegrkg6 wrote

“My boyfriend says I’m not allowed…”

Nope, he doesn’t get to decide what you’re “allowed” to do. He doesn’t have authority over you!

Sounds like you both just have different perspectives on alcohol, and there’s no right or wrong. Personally I only drink with other people because I see it as a social thing, but there are plenty of people who enjoy having a drink at home in the evening. The only thing that’s wrong here is the fact that this is an argument and not just a difference of opinion.

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epsileth t1_jegr2mc wrote

Welcome to adulting. Bf is either controlling, or knows you have substance abuse issues, and doesn't want you to get hurt.

Girls night in, glass of whatever and your favorite streaming service. If the house is in one piece the next morning, and you're fine, a few times a fortnight is fine for you.

Reverse things, see if in exchange for staying dry, your bf will give up something.

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[deleted] t1_jeh5kzm wrote

[removed]

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peakpenguins t1_jegqvhx wrote

He can believe whatever he wants about drinking alone, he doesn't have to agree with your feelings on it, but he also shouldn't get to tell you what you are or are not "allowed" to do. He's not your owner.

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