> on par with humouring a toddler helping to "wash the dishes" (you know you'll end up with more of a mess than what you began with and probably a broken dish, but its cute that they wanted to try).

This really hits home. My Mom was exactly that way - "you can help by getting out of the way", so it is triggering.

Funny how people can find relationships that recreate dynamics like that.

I appreciate you and your reply, plenty to think on.