Submitted by Substantial_Diet_485 t3_1277h7i in relationship_advice

See, when I thought this, I really thought that it sucked. But as I thought about my recent thought even more, the more I came to realise how fucking weird of a thought I just had. I dont have any feelings towards her, and im so happy she found someone too. Just I dont know why this was my immediate thought. Its weird and can anyone help me fix this weird behavior? I dont want to think this way about my friend.

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paint-it-black1 t1_jeczhsh wrote

I think this is common. A part of you might be a little sad she has a boyfriend because it might effect your relationship with her. For example, she might not have as much time to spend with you, as she once did.

I think it is good that you’re insightful and able to identify your thoughts and try to change them to positive ones. We all have negative thoughts about ourselves and others- even people we care about. Being able to recognize these thoughts, try to understand where and why we are feeling them, and make efforts at countering them is the best we can do in my opinion.

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bossoline t1_jed1u62 wrote

> Just I dont know why this was my immediate thought.
>
>Its weird and can anyone help me fix this weird behavior?

It's not a behavior. It's a thought. It doesn't become a behavior until you act it out or express it, which opens it up to interpretation, judgment, and consequences. You didn't, so it's all good.

Not all thoughts mean something.

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CrazyCat-DogLady t1_jedc0yk wrote

You good. I'm a woman and have experienced similar feelings of disappointment at finding out someone I vibe with is taken. What makes the difference is how you respond to those feelings. As long as you can continue to respect her and her boundaries, you're fine. If you need to break off the friendship, that's fine too.

The reason you're feeling guilty over your immediate response is because of all these horror stories we see (especially on Reddit) of men going off the rails when they fall "victim" to the "friend zone". Your feelings are perfectly normal.

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