Submitted by Sea-Duty6723 t3_1283rvd in relationship_advice
Hi all, first time posting and not very good at writing so please forgive me. My girlfriend (23F) and I (24M) have been together almost 2 years now and things have taken a turn for the worst.
When we started dating we were having crazy passionate sex, every single time we were together. She lived with her parents but spent most says at my house. We became really close emotionally as time went on and we both opened up to each other and became inseparable. She became my best friend and for the first time I was extremely happy, and wanted to actually put an effort into bettering myself. I quit vaping, stopped drinking almost entirely except for social events, I started losing weight, watching what I am eating more, furthered my education in my field and recently received a huge promotion, etc. She has some health issues that are hereditary, with some traumatic things that have happened to her in the past that she warned me about early on.
Everything was going amazing until about 2 months ago. Almost out of nowhere our sex life ended, communication ground to barely any conversation. I went from seeing her 15-20 times a month to once last month. Intimate contact including hugs, kisses, cuddling, and sex disappeared overnight. Communication went from talking every night and most mornings to I barely get a response from my “good morning beautiful” text I have sent every single day since we started talking. I had no clue what was going on but was patient.
Last week when I finally saw her I asked what was going on, and I finally found out that she’s been having reoccurring nightmares about her ex abusing her mentally and sexually again. She told me that she is unable to be touched basically at all without her stomach turning and skin crawling. She apologized about the non communication but explained she went into a really bad spot mentally and has only been communicating with her best friend about it (23F), who had been through something very similar and they have known each other since elementary school. I have been patient and understanding, I love this girl with all of my heart and I want to support her however I can.
I know that no cheating is being done, I have her location and she has mine. She only goes from her house, to school, then back to her house. I’m not worried about anything like that. I just want to know how to best help her and be supportive without being overwhelming, counter productive, or insensitive. Thank you in advance.
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