My husband just did this. And the driving force was untreated depression and unresolved trauma. Making huge life decisions when you are depressed is not a good idea IMO. He thinks I caused the depression because he doesn’t understand depression. Nobody is responsible for your happiness and contentment but you. It’s easy to blame shift. So I guess I side with your wife. I think you should treat the depression and make life changes (both of you together) before you make a decision as big as this especially if kids are involved. Husband moved out and now he has someone else to feed his self esteem. Still not treating his issues though. It’s always easier to run then face the problems.