Submitted by ThrowRAexgfpregant t3_1203tdh in relationship_advice
Throwaway account. Scroll all the way down for TLDR.
I don’t even know how I got into this mess. I don’t have many friends to go to about this so I decided to come onto this sub.
Starting from the beginning, I met my current boyfriend Jared (fake name) back in January of last year. We met when I started my new job and we clicked instantly. He’s funny, charming, caring, and definitely eye candy. We became super close and we hung out all the time and we would stay up all night talking on the phone for hours.
At the time I met Jared, I had just gotten out of a miserable relationship with my ex-boyfriend of two years. That relationship really affected me and I was afraid to get into another relationship so I didn’t act on my feelings for Jared.
Jared told me that he was willing to wait for me for as long I needed. I really appreciated that and I am so lucky to have met someone like him.
Eventually, him and I finally made it official around Christmas time. Our relationship has been amazing and this is the best one I’ve ever been in.
That is until a few days ago…
A few days ago, Jared called me and told me that he was on his way over to my place and that he needed talk to me about something important.
When he arrived, we sat down and he confessed to me that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant and the baby is his.
According to him, this is how it happened: He was at the bar with a few of his buddies on Labor Day and he ran into his ex there. Apparently, he got drunk and he started to feel a bit lonely. Him and his ex began talking and flirting. Long story short, they ended up going back to his place and they slept together.
His ex-girlfriend is currently seven months pregnant and up until now, he hasn’t told me. He says he kept it from me out of fear that I would leave him and because he wasn’t sure if she was being 100% truthful about the pregnancy.
This has been on my mind for the past few days and I don’t know what to do. Jared has given me space to process all of this, which I appreciate.
On one hand, I feel like it isn’t fair for me to be upset because him and I weren’t together. But on the other hand, it hurts that he didn’t tell me this when we first began dating.
I know them having a baby doesn’t necessarily involve me and of course, the only thing that should matter in this situation is the baby but I’m not really sure where this leaves me. I’m not sure what to do and how to go about this. I’ve always been child free and the thought of being a step-mother scares me.
Jared is my best friend and I love and care about him with everything in me. My heart is so confused.
Please help me. I would love your advice/feedback.
TLDR: My boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend slept together before we were official and she’s now seven months pregnant and he’s kept it from me all this time.