Submitted by AdSufficient6247 t3_127e7ir in relationship_advice
Hey reddit 👋
My partner (26M) and I (27F) have been shopping for a house over the last 5 months, we have been together for just over 2 years.
We have a real estate agent, mortgage broker and bank onboard, we have told many friends and colleagues about our excitement in doing this.
We were very fortunate to find a home that we both loved and were looking at putting an offer down, however when it came time to do so he got cold feet and has decided it's not a good time for us to buy, for the reason he feels we need to build the foundation of our relationship more, and that we shouldn't be buying a house only 2 years into our relationship.
This hurt, I thought we had a great relationship that was strong. In my mind I had been building our life in this home for the last month or so, even before that the journey to becoming home owners was such an exciting prospect. It feels like so much time has been wasted and so much work has been done for nothing. I can't help but feel resentment, I can't trust the next time we go to do something big the same thing won't happen, how will I ever know if he's going to feel 100% about this, he doesn't even know.
Has anyone been through something like this before? Is it salvageable am I being dramatic? I want this relationship to last, how do I forgive him?
Sorry this feels super brief, happy to provide more context if needed.
EDIT: Hey everyone, thank you for taking the time to give your responses and I am currently working through replies. Question: scrolling through I've seen a lot of NO MARRIAGE NO HOUSE, ahh why? Is this American? or an ideaology from the past? I live in AKL, NZ, here marriage doesn't have any legal binding to finances or assets. For further context marriage is low on the priorities for both of us.
EDIT2: Hey, me again sorry. I should make it clear we are no longer buying a house (yet,anyways) My questions are more around moving forward, cheers.