MarriedLife7 t1_iuj17br wrote
He is still more emotionally invested with his friend than you. Putting general boundaries doesn't ruin a friendship and she would understand. He still has an attachment with her and I would break up with him if he refuses to change (or even if he says he will).
It is one thing to have a really good friend but this is overboard.
Alternative-Wish-186 t1_iuj373f wrote
When I told him to set clear boundaries, he said that if he does that it might ruin what they have, and he doesn’t want to lose her, or choose between her and I. And he said that it’s MY problem if I am hurt because of this .. so I don’t really know how to tell him again that their friendship should have limits. Do you think maybe I should initiate this conversation again and how ? Thing is everything else about him is so great.. there’s only this thing that hurts our relationship
MarriedLife7 t1_iuj5a5x wrote
I don't get how not sleeping over at her place and such is a problem. If she gets a boyfriend then her situation is likely to be the same and she will probably just put boundaries up. This will likely really hurt him in the future.
I think the thing is that you make it clear you don't want him to lose her as a friend but you don't see why he has to stay overnight at her place and such.
He wants everything and doesn't want to lose anything. He is being pretty selfish.
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