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thenewbeginnin t1_iugvr9y wrote

Something about this sounds highly unhealthy to me. I'm not sure why you're incredibly picky. I suppose there's nothing wrong with high standards, but at the same time, I feel like you're putting these guys on too high of a pedestal. They seem to be emotionally unavailable. I feel like you're not looking for friends. You're looking for potential partners, and you're correlating the two. And him also being a coworker is pretty fucking convenient too...

I don't know if you're misreading the situation and mentally putting him as this amazing guy when he's just ordinary. Or if you've been led on to thinking, there's a mutual crushing, and you were shattered. But something doesn't seem right.

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Treble_Maker18 t1_iugwhdx wrote

The mutual crush misunderstanding definitely happened. It's what prompted me to post, really. I could've added more potentially relevant personal details but I didn't want to make the post super long

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thenewbeginnin t1_iugwsk3 wrote

I understand a little more now, but it's still vague. And even though it seems like you're close, he might not be what you think he is. After reading this, I immediately thought F-boy.

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BlobBlob230 t1_iuh5bg2 wrote

I dont get why he's not into you. It sounds like you don't know for a fact and it's just that he doesn't gush over you. Is that the basis?

Otherwise, idk make a move.

If I misinterpreted it and he doesn't like you like that then I'd probably say to pull away from anything sexual and make yourself not necessarily available to him. I mean unless you're having fun, but regardless doesn't seem healthy being used.

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Treble_Maker18 t1_iujunta wrote

No he definitely told me he wasn't interested, and we actually haven't done anything for a long time. He's just the person I feel the most comfortable with out of everyone I know. I don't want to ask why I'm not an option for him because I don't want to pressure him into saying something that would hurt me, but I do wish I knew.

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ectalia t1_iuhpmrs wrote

I'm demisexual, and everyone I ever been attracted to were people I knew very well. It's a bit complicated, because my friend circle and my dating pool becomes the same thing. On your case, maybe "friends to lovers" is something that's okay for you, but not to the men you've taken interest? Maybe you give "close friends vibes" in the beginning of the relationship, and then you end up in the friendzone - hence the men not taking interest into you.

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