I need desperate help

Submitted by Electrical-Letter132 t3_yi1xcl in relationship_advice

Okay so my bf "John" and I started dating a whole ago. My friend "Karina" helped me a lot thru it, and me and John were fine. A thing was though was that John and Karina talked a LOT after text, bc she got his number for me, and she started texting him too. While me and him were in the talking stage, she would give him advice but she would rarely let me see their messages, and one time she bragged about him responding to her first. Literally broke my heart. And another time she said "I thought he was hot but then you liked him so I backed off". Which was kinda iffy. Anyways after we started dating they would joke around a lot and snap and text and all that and neither of them would respond and then he would be laughing at their messages while we were on call.

A lot of ppl tell me that I'm his entire world and he loves me and he shows that he does but just that bothers me so much

Sometimes I'll start crying and having anxiety attacks and lose sleep, I really don't know why, I'm not like overprotective of him, I think the only time I ever got upset was when a girl was snapping him and telling him he was cute and they were joking around but he ended up blocking her when I got upset.

Idk. He's genuinely super sweet and wouldn't cheat but I just don't know, yk? This makes him seem like a really bad guy but the sweet and nice things he does outweighs all of this by a lot.

Should I talk to him about him and my best friend?

Edit: I'm gonna try my best to stop being scared of confrontation, I am terrified of it but it's okay. Im going to better myself because I know it's extremely unhealthy to keep doing this to myself. Thank you so much for everything everyone said :) love yall sm <3

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zZombi__ t1_iugtowc wrote

I feel like the main issue is either jealousy or insecurity.. Considering it came before it wouldn't necessarily be an issue with Katrina specifically.

Honestly, if it's either of those, it's not his problem and you would need to work on/through that. Both of those can become toxic in bigger amounts and it's not healthy for either of you to have to deal with it.

Maybe a relationship therapist could help overcome the jealousy/insecurity that it might be. And maybe tell John how you feel, but don't tell him not to talk to her.

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Murky_Anxiety4884 t1_iugu09a wrote

It's not really about them. Once the trust is gone, there's no getting it back. The healthiest thing is to break up.

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Electrical-Letter132 OP t1_iugu7hz wrote

Replying to zZombi__ (#372,565)

I see that, and yeah that's probably why, but I talked to Katrina about it once and she like kinda just ignored it. And I know that it's bad and toxic but I'm just scared to even acknowledge it.

I'll try that, thank you. What mostly bothers me is that he relies more on her than me and he was just more comfortable w her than me and that just broke my heart. Idk it makes me feel like he was just forced to be w me, yk?

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ImpossibleCarrot5220 t1_iugx44p wrote

My two cents

If the problem stems from insecurities do better be better. It’s simple in a world with Instagram models you have to be a competitor everyday. You have to be honest with yourself and ask am I doing everything I can to be the best version of myself?

Now for a personal tip! You can’t be afraid in your relationship it’s unhealthy. If he’s going to cheat it will happen with or without you stressing over it. So love him and love yourself more.

-he chose you

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