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What are the pros all you did is listing the cons.

I thought it would be too long but here are some pros:

-he is intelligent -we have similar world views -he has a great sense of humor and knows how to make me laugh -he is clean -he is an amazing cook and loves making me meals -he is responsible -I feel taken care of by him -his family is great and adores me -he has a great group of friends that I get along with -he has been incredibly supportive with my own career goals

I guess it's up to you to figure which pros or cons are more important and maybe try to communicate and fix the worst cons.

Yes. We have communicated about all of this before. And I believe that the cons can be overcome. I just have doubts still. That’s the main issue I wrestle with

Youre not confused.

You want to leave but have already classified yourself as “an absolute fool” if you do.

People end relationships all the time, why cant you? Your post is filled with criticisms of him and things you dont like but please know You are CHOOSING to stay with him.

We cant change anyone else. You are choosing to stay in a relationship that isnt working anymore…for what? “To keep up appearances”?

Dont take our word for any of this, its been 5 years, you have plenty of material to take and go discuss all this with a therapist and see what they have to say.

Best to you🧡

Maybe try therapy? Either individual or couples. You need to unpack what’s going on with your sex life. You two are way too young to have no sex life.

I’m currently in therapy now (super cheap because I’m in grad school). It’s not very effective at the moment. I have expressed that I want to go to a sex therapist or couples therapy when we get into arguments regarding our sex life but he is not willing to pay for that right now.

Not willing or can’t afford it?

I would get another therapist.

I ask because if he’s just not willing then he’s telling you that your relationship is not worth the investment. If that’s the case, it’s probably time to move on.

I would say not willing but using the excuse of our very limited budget right now. He spends money on other things so I know it can be done.

Yeah I agree. I’m currently on a waitlist for a sec therapist in my town. It’s been almost a year and she still has not opening. I’m also on a tight budget with school so my options are quite limited.

See my comment below. You are not a priority. Move on.

The key to resolving any issue is through communication... Open your heart out, and let him hear your insecurities regarding your relationship. Maybe he's just aloof about all these issues you face. At the end of the day it's only for you to decide whether to stay or let go. You had doubts about the relationship, 2 years in, and now you're 5 years into the relationship. Don't try to stretch it out further. This is the most important conversation which would make or break your relation.

I agree! We have had an extremely in depth conversation along with several other conversations through regarding everything in this post and more. At times, it has temporarily helped and then at times it makes things worse. This is all on me because I’m the one in the relationship with all the doubt. I ask him if there is anything that I do that makes him question and he has not one thing to say. It is seemingly perfect apart from our sex life in his perspective.

I would love to have a third party present (like a therapist) to be there for these conversation because there is never any lasting resolve

There's no clarity. Every person is flawed. If you quit him, the next guy will come with a different set of issues.

This is the paradox of choice. For men and women, we open social or dating app and see thousands of faces. We think to ourselves, there must be someone better. So we look for the mythical "the one", the 100%, instead of a partner you are 90% happy with. This is the paradox of choice. 50 yrs ago, he would have been an amazing partner that you would have gladly spent a lifetime with. Today, you are questioning if someone better is out there and thus making yourself unhappy.

It's ultimately your life, your call.

So true. Thank you for your comment.

Woman staying in relationship for five years in their most fertile periods. Teach each other better skills on selecting men and knowing when to leave relationships with no future potential.