Hi I’m new here got this app so I can have actual people respond to my comment…

Submitted by [deleted] t3_z93qg8 in relationship_advice

So I’ve been in this relationship with this person off and on. Moved states for this guy. I think he’s cheating. We have fought about it multiple times and he keeps saying these little hints like “ if you cheat I’m gonna leave you “ or he would just yell at me and starting gaslighting me and making me feel like shit. But today I thought I saw him with this blonde chick in his car. I had called him and asked about it and he yelled at me and starting saying really rude stuff to me. What does that mean? Is he cheating? I keep having dreams of him cheating on me. Almost every week now. And he’s threatening to leave me because I think he’s cheating? Is that him being guilty?

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Machopsdontcry t1_iyet8ip wrote

Welcome to Reddit :)

Regardless of whether or not he's cheating or not, you have no trust in this relationship so its almost guaranteed that the next person you meet will be an improvement

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Catwhacker t1_iyf66p5 wrote

Based on the text of this post, nobody is going to know if he’s cheating or not. You don’t know enough so we don’t know enough.

What seems to be clear based off of the text of your post though, is that you don’t seem to mesh well. It seems like his behavior isn’t ideal for your needs. Maybe try communicating with him to try to establish a healthier dynamic. If that doesn’t work. Reconsider if this is what you want.

Cheating is far from the only viable reason for a breakup

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[deleted] OP t1_iyfda5u wrote

I posted another thing with signs of me thinking he’s cheating. There’s so many signs but he denies it. I try to communicate with him but it’s turns into a fight.

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Catwhacker t1_iyfdwl3 wrote

K you tried communicating and it didn’t work. Time to reconsider if this is what you want. Don’t think “if only (insert bad behavior) changed, I’d be happy…” In the dating game, you work with what you have in the moment. Could you be happy in a commitment with him assuming he stays exactly the same for the rest of your life? Depending on how you answer that question, you will know whether to stay or go

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[deleted] OP t1_iyfelu5 wrote

Well he said he would change but, it hasn’t happened and we been on and off for about a year now. But I don’t I always think about that question.

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hisimpendingbaldness t1_iyetu5d wrote

It means he figures a good defense is a strong offense, and when you question him he goes into attack mode. Not the greatest way to communicate in a relationship. Do you want to be yelled at for the next 30 years? If so stick with him.

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[deleted] OP t1_iyetzxb wrote

I don’t want to he was never like this when we first got together but people start to show their true colors after a few months…

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hisimpendingbaldness t1_iyeykiw wrote

>but people start to show their true colors after a few months…

Sad to say this is fairly common.

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