Submitted by itsokiloveu t3_zz05p0 in relationship_advice
I met a guy from Germany here in Canada this past April. He asked me out in the park, and we ended up spending the entire week together.
We had sex with a condom each time, I got tested and was negative. We FaceTimed, talked on the phone, and he sent me a journal entry he wrote about me as well as a love poem.
We stayed in communication the next few months, and he told me he was studying in a France, asking me to come visit him.
I booked my flight in September and came to see him 2 weeks ago. I told him in advance that I would be getting a blood and urine test so that after 9 months of knowing each other, we could finally have unprotected sex.
I assumed (that’s where I went wrong) that since he’s in medical school and claimed to care about me, he would take the proper precautions and do the same (get tested).
We had sex the whole 10 days, and upon returning home I noticed a scab near my vagina. The scab has now become 2 separate, painful full-blown legions/sores.
I am in so much agony both physically and mentally. We established that if we lived in the same place, we would be together. He asked me to come stay with him for a full summer so we could gauge whether or not we have a future with each other. Our connection was so special, as well as the way we met.
I understood he would likely have sex with other girls over the course of 8 months, but thought he would at least warn me or see a doctor if he had anything.
He’s not the type to sleep around. He has no social media, no dating apps, and keeps to himself spending lots of time alone. Not to mention, he doesn’t like going out, doesn’t drink, and has never used drugs of any kind. A “1 night stand” would be almost impossible for me to imagine him having.
I really liked him to the point where I might have even loved him. I’m in complete disbelief that he would pass something on to me…. I really thought I knew him. I really thought he was responsible.
I feel like my life is ruined and if my results come back positive for something, I’m going to be infuriated. Not only would it be over for us completely, I would also no longer trust men at all. I have a long history of being abused or treated poorly by men (starting with my father) and this would really be the nail in the coffin. I would need extensive therapy.
Is my future dating life over? How should I approach this with him? Should I call him now or wait until the results come back? What do I say?
I’m heartbroken, confused, and feel deeply betrayed.
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