I (19M) need help ending this with her (18F).

Submitted by ThrowRA_clearskies t3_10ou3yy in relationship_advice

Hi, so I have been with my girlfriend for a while (1 year soon) and not going to lie after month 8 I started becoming tired of the relationship.

Firstly, she is a hypocrite and it bothers me a lot how she doesn't even know that she also does things that she critiques me of doing, such as when I am 2 minutes late to pick her up from university fountain because I talked with my friends for a bit after class. She does the exact same thing but even worse. She made me wait another 10 minutes and I had no idea what she was doing because she was talking with her friend.

To give another one, she and I facetime a lot (used to, I asked to quit because "it was bothering my studies") and sometimes I would leave to eat or something and she got upset that I left the facetime. But at least I would tell her that I would leave beforehand. When she does it, she just disappears for hours at a time because she was "napping". I mean these actions individually are not that much of a criticism but I am more concerned that she isn't self aware of her actions. This is like NPC activity.

She always complains at the worst timings. It was my 19th birthday so I asked her to go out to eat with me and during the eating she randomly asked me why I liked her. I told her before that I liked her because she has a majestic voice, pretty, and isn't so brainless when it comes to interacting with guys. How many times does she need me to say that? She kept asking "oh what if another pretty girl with a good voice comes? Will you love her instead" like why are you saying this on my birthday. I also told her numerous times that I am not interested in girls like a lot of guys my age are (yes I like my homies much more) but I'm tired of repeating myself.

Also, when I volunteered for a university thing, she complained that I didn't pick the time that she picked. I told her many times before that I didn't have any other time besides that one due to classes (shown to her with a screenshot of my timetable).

I want to end it. I really do. I didn't even know how I felt until today because I want to wait a very long time before I decide on something as big as this. Since I don't really talk to her as much anymore (before was excessive), I had a good while to think to myself what is the best path for me. Being in a relationship with her is emotionally draining.

However I don't know how to end it. We are on good terms right now, and it would be totally devastating to her (or maybe not, because she said she almost broke up with my because I refused to go ice skating because I don't know and am not interested in it and I didn't even know she was that mad). Please reddit what do I do here.

And finally please don't come here to say that she is a "low self esteem girl" and needs my validation. She makes tiktok videos and she knows she is pretty.

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MissionRevolution306 t1_j6gx4k4 wrote

Did you ever think that maybe she asks why you like her because for at least the past 4 months she could feel you change towards her when you say you started to lose interest? She may know she’s attractive but that’s not the same as knowing if or why their partner is attracted to them. You sound like you can’t stand her and would rather be with your male friends, so stop wasting her time and end it. You’re 19, not 12, you should be able to say “This isn’t working for me anymore”.

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ThrowRA_clearskies OP t1_j6h166s wrote

Nah she started saying those stuff before. Idk why ur so passive aggressive in this comment with zero full knowledge on this topic but I can assure you she had those questions even before everything started falling down.

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