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trishsf t1_j6nwtng wrote

He’s making this decision knowing he’ll be away from you for 2 months. It’s not as if he isn’t aware of it. 4 months isn’t long and if this is a big opportunity for him, he should go. If your relationship is meant to be then 2 months is nothing.

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trishsf t1_j6o0cy0 wrote

Replying to Throwaway88888907 (#1,671,066)

What is? Because it sounds as if you don’t want him to go or that you believe that you should make this decision together. If he’s not including you in the decision then he’s clearly saying that he isn’t at the place where he believes that you make life decisions together.

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matcha-hatcha t1_j6o0ymr wrote

Ask them to clarify their feelings about an LDR. He'll, ask yourself what you think of a long distance relationship. Four months isn't long to date but they have to know that not everyone would wait or do LDR for a third of your entire relationship. They might be in the "cross that bridge when we get to it" mindset, and it just didn't occur to them what comes next for you guys.

It's probably not a bad time to bring up future plans in general. Kids, marriage, travel in general, yadda yadda.

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Throwaway88888907 t1_j6o2rc7 wrote

Replying to matcha-hatcha (#1,671,908)

I agree that 4 months isn't very long to date, which is why this has been a bit conflicting for me. 2 months, though, does feel like a big chunk of time. Either way, I want them to do it because it's important for them and would make them happy. I just personally think that big things like this are important to discuss in any relationship. I.E. "Hey, I want to do this thing. I recognize that it's a long time, so I just wanted to touch base with you re how you feel about stuff like this." I guess it just seems a little... haphazard as is. We've also discussed marriage and kids and even a timeline on those things. We haven't talked about travel, though. May be good to talk about at this point!

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Throwaway88888907 t1_j6o3jvd wrote

Replying to trishsf (#1,671,710)

The point is consideration for your partner in what would essentially put us in an LDR. I want them to do what's right for them, and recognize that it's totally their decision to make! Again, would totally not hold them back from going, I just think it's an important space for a dialogue

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Odd-Jackfruit-2375 t1_j6o8l6a wrote

You've been dating for 4 months. You're not in a place yet where a discussion needed to be had over him taking an assignment that's only 2 months. Also, missing your birthday because of this is not "potentially notable" to hold against him at a later date. He was not obligated to check with you first, and I'm not sure how you view time but "1/6th" of the year is not a long time.

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