Submitted by goth-insomniac t3_10pf1dp in relationship_advice

i asked her out in july, and she said she wants to take things slow because it’s her first irl relationship. i’ve been in relationships before and i’m head over fucking heels for her, but we just keep going on casual dates and nothing further. it feels exactly like it did when we were just friends, and i get a kind of reserved, cold vibe from her. i have OCD and i grew up with a dysfunctional family dynamic so i always read way more into others’ emotions than i need to, and i feel like a monster every time i touch her. i love her a lot and i want to kiss her and do relationship shit yk? but i always feel like i move too fast even though if i were going any slower i’d be moving backwards. how to broach the topic with her without seeming like a pervert? i can hold off on sex, neither of us are ready for that, but i feel like i’m stepping on eggshells when i show intimacy with her.

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_j6k0rc4 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.


#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

gordonf23 t1_j6k6oh9 wrote

So you’ve been with her for over half a year and you’re not even allowed to kiss her?

1

goth-insomniac OP t1_j6k7zl6 wrote

i guess. i’ve tried to discuss what is and isn’t okay physicality-wise but she’s got really bad anxiety issues (we’re both in therapy dw) so she just kind of beats around the bush. i’m writing out a speech/letter to gather my thoughts and next time i see her we’re gonna have a Conversation

1

gordonf23 t1_j6k88tx wrote

There are people who get married after dating for 6 months— not that I recommend it. And most people these days have sex after several dates. If not earlier. It definitely sounds like your girlfriend is moving a bit on the slow side. I would find that really frustrating.

1

goth-insomniac OP t1_j6ko9zf wrote

i’m definitely going to have a long conversation with her this week. she’s said with no uncertain terms that she’s into me, but i initiate almost everything. i think i’m just more physical with my affection than she is, but still. it’s frustrating

1