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Drudicta t1_j86ns1o wrote

Reply to comment by Xoor in Large study provides evidence that goal incongruence can harm romantic relationship satisfaction by glum-platimium

Been the house person, cleaning, grocery shipping, researching, saving money on purchases, that kind of stuff.

Fiance still grew to despise Dru over time anyway, because despite working constantly every day with no breaks, she didn't see it that way, and just saw a leech. Didn't matter how much was contributed.

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Alarmed-Wolf14 t1_j87esat wrote

The people that are more naturally equipped to fill the support roles like this never get the recognition they deserve because a lot of it is intangible (less stress on the other person) or isn’t noticed (like good technology, good support is almost never noticed when it works. When the house is clean and groceries are bought within the budget and making every purchase count and making the best possible use of money by hours of research)

I’m that person too and it took my husband living on his own to realize how much I take care of for him. He forgets time to time still so I will get busy doing something more tangibly productive and stop doing the other stuff but it never lasts long.

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Drudicta t1_j87jujd wrote

Maybe she'll call after being alone for a long time. Or maybe not and she'll just piss all her money away instead of reaching any of her goals.

She's always been terrible with money and was way worse before we met.

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reddituser567853 t1_j87dfvs wrote

Something tells me fiance made more money than Dru

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Drudicta t1_j87jjzo wrote

Well yeah, she specifically said to be the stay at home person.

Would have been nice to have had some communication that it was no longer enough.

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C4-BlueCat t1_j88c2k0 wrote

Did the two of you make the initial decision to have one person home together?

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Drudicta t1_j88y4fo wrote

We did. But she changed her mind later down the road without saying anything until she got so mad that she suddenly broke up without any indication

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reddituser567853 t1_j88sp3a wrote

If your father never taught you this, he should have.

Never ever agree to a situation like this. Maybe if you are married and have a child, but then only short term.

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Drudicta t1_j88yatz wrote

The only thing the parents taught was how to drink alcohol, smoke meth and abuse children.

Have had to learn everything alone.

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