Have you heard of complex PTSD or r/cPTSD? Sounds like it could apply to you and maybe it will help you find some useful resources. Pete Walker is one of the top resources for info on cPTSD. I can’t recommend his books enough.

Signed, an internet stranger with cPTSD from childhood abuse and neglect who didn’t even realize she had it until age 35, and also a long hauler for the past 2.5 years. I am convinced there’s a link between cPTSD and long COVID. We already know from the Adverse Childhood Experiences studies that childhood trauma pretty dramatically increases the risk for chronic illness later in life (cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc, so long covid really fits).