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MRmandato t1_j1j3liw wrote

Reply to comment by farmer15erf in Texas coach Chris Beard's fiancee says he didn't strangle her. by PrincessBananas85

Worked front desk at a PD for several years. You have no idea how common this was. I remember one specific type a woman came in wanting to remove the automatic NCO and retract her statement. I pulled up the case and skimmed the report as I spoke to her. It happened last night, boyfriend beat her badly. Her bruises were still fresh on her check and face. I could do nothing but give her a DV Resources packet and send her to the prosecutors office.

This happened on a weekly basis with multiple women. You read the reports and its horrible. So many times particularly asking for the NCO to be dropped.

And yes,women get arrested for DV against men all the time. I remember giving a womans purse back to her after she was arrested once, girl was about 22 and maybe 130 lbs. She hit her boyfriend who was massive- over 6 feet and big. Cops arrested her and she spent the night in jail. They really dont care about gender, and a lot of times both people can be arrested if its mutual combat.

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1jttuz wrote

Divorce attorney here. Abused women retract and it’s unfortunate, but there are a lot of fake DV allegations as well. Liars ruin it for their husbands AND for real victims. And everyone lies. All the time.

Men are only victims of DV 25% of the time. So female arrests happen, but it’s not even close to 1:1.

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MRmandato t1_j1jwph2 wrote

Never suggested DV arrests for men and women are equal. Theres a lot of reasons for that. Ie. Men also commit more violent crime in general.

People lie or misrepresent all crimes. That much is true. Routinely Abused DV victims often are too afraid to press charges or are emotionally manipulated into not.

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hp433 t1_j1l2qre wrote

I had a girlfriend once that pulled a gun out on me and in the same 30 minutes threatened to tell the cops I hit her. Scary times

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PokerBeards t1_j1kp4pv wrote

Your taste in sports teams being questionable, I still wanted to say thanks for advocating. Been through it and luckily got access to a good lawyer during the ordeal otherwise who knows what would’ve happened.

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1kq9kj wrote

Thanks! Most people hate us

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PokerBeards t1_j1kqkht wrote

Not sure where you’re from but being lower income I had to rely on legal aid in BC. First assigned lawyer neglected to call me back for over a month so I had to get a new one who was fantastic. While I had no lawyer the British Columbia court appointed mediator out of Surrey tried to get me to sign off on my wife getting two weeks at a time with the boys while I’d get every second weekend. She told me the courts looked at that as stability and that I should agree to it. Broke my heart and thanks goodness I held strong for wanting a 50/50 split of time.

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backwardrollypolly t1_j1lqrym wrote

That stat is incorrect it’s close to 40-50 just often underreported. Parity in things like this is always much higher than assumed

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1mw5ju wrote

No, men are not DV victims almost 50% of the time. That is inaccurate. All DV is underreported.

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backwardrollypolly t1_j1n7j8a wrote

I agree that all DV is underreported but it is specifically so in male cases.

This is the link if you’re interested

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DeaderthanZed t1_j1kvk54 wrote

Your clients are lying to you.

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1kwtfj wrote

And their spouses are too. It’s all fun. They run the gamut from legitimate cases of abuse with asshole wife beaters, to insane tire-slashers who game the system to screw their husbands. Round and round we go.

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