Submitted by rasta4eye t3_1220fgn in springfieldMO
Comments
Ipuncholdpeople t1_jdoawtk wrote
The penguins breached their cell. They evacuated, but there is still mass carnage
Raddad47 t1_jdockff wrote
They're just down for another 8 year remodel
Low_Tourist t1_jdofp8s wrote
Oh, so it's gonna be a lot quicker this time?
Azanskippedtown t1_jdohsyg wrote
Crack in the glass!
Raddad47 t1_jdoi0r5 wrote
python_boot t1_jdoi5pc wrote
candygram
creepinDan t1_jdokfva wrote
Someone pulled the fire alarm but I think it was a fake. Source: customer
indiefab t1_jdom4dh wrote
UNICEF, ma’am.
Imactuallyadogg t1_jdorhq7 wrote
Well as long as the sharks didn’t get out I think everyone will be ok. That’s why they keep those fences electrified. The fences only work because sharks can’t jump.
MLC3527 t1_jdosxqo wrote
Sharknado. Probably...
rasta4eye OP t1_jdou98q wrote
I'm just a dolphin
whiskeytastesgood t1_jdoufka wrote
where's my "toes" at?
TungstenElement9 t1_jdovife wrote
I farted
rasta4eye OP t1_jdp1l39 wrote
Thank you for the one serious answer.
The non-serious answers were funny tho
LilSisterCumGutters t1_jdp1tun wrote
Because it’s a shithole?
mungermoss245 t1_jdp2w7o wrote
Someone overheard me saying I was gonna blow the place up without a chance to wipe
Cold417 t1_jdp5f4n wrote
Different area codes.
beerme72 t1_jdp5i40 wrote
a CANDYGRAM! OH BOY!
DjValence t1_jdp5xeg wrote
thisxisxlife t1_jdp693o wrote
Walked through the building for a normal maintenance call and came home to 8 toes on one foot
just_another_monster t1_jdp6m9h wrote
The penguins were riding the sharks. It's over for us all.
3078655 t1_jdphvk7 wrote
What, you want to give the fish toilets? Dam Libruls and their nature these days, smh...
/s for the dull ones
Eat__Moneyz t1_jdpnhg3 wrote
It escaped.
MonoChaos t1_jdpp9mr wrote
Oh dang, I volunteer there on Mondays and Fridays. I hope everything and everyone was okay.
Exaltedautochthon t1_jdq9v80 wrote
This fat guy was brawling with some dude who sounds like Phil Hartman after they both signed up for a charity program helping young boys
rasta4eye OP t1_jdqo12s wrote
For people who don't understand the reference: https://www.news-leader.com/story/news/local/ozarks/2023/03/22/james-river-church-leader-says-woman-regrew-toes-during-a-service/70028744007/
PumpkinGuy85 t1_jdqxj8i wrote
I'm not sure. Seems fishy though.
DrMcdoctory t1_jdqxtj8 wrote
Fish escaped.
T-money79 t1_jdr21b2 wrote
One of the sharks sprouted legs
BonelessLucy t1_jdrad6q wrote
Candygram for Mongo!
CheezWizonator t1_jdrb20s wrote
Baptist farts stink the worst.
rasta4eye OP t1_jdrbcpt wrote
Different movie. Here's what the reference is to: https://youtu.be/p_NS2H55dxI
rasta4eye OP t1_jdrbfo8 wrote
Please report back tomorrow with the inside scoop
Gaysuperman302 t1_jdtaeda wrote
I also want to know
Gaysuperman302 t1_jdtajey wrote
We aren’t dull for downvting you it was just a bad “joke”
3078655 t1_jdtfavf wrote
Yea borgs will do that
MonoChaos t1_jdxie7j wrote
So I ended up asking and apparently someone pulled a fire alarm or something. There was no actual fire though so everyone and everything was perfectly fine. No harm done.
Hollowpointsmilexx t1_jdoabut wrote
James River wants to perform a miracle in there, but no one can look