You REALLY need your own place, and to take time to focus on yourself and heal from your trauma. Find a good therapist that you feel comfortable with and open up. The fact that you're on here shows you're ready to talk about it. I realize that you may not be in a position right now to move out, but you should definitely work towards that goal and put some distance between you and your family. You don't owe them anything. I'll let you in on a secret: just because you're related by blood, doesn't mean you're obligated to care for them. It's entirely okay to cut those people out of your life if it's what you need to do to heal. Your number one focus right now needs to be YOU. YOU matter. YOU have value. YOU are important. Don't let anybody else tell you any different. Learn to love yourself, even if sometimes it feels like you're the only one that does. Trust me, that's not true. Get a cute haircut. Get your nails done. Buy a nice outfit. Be nice to yourself. You deserve it. You've done nothing wrong, you deserve love. So give it to yourself. There's people out there that love you too. Your just haven't met them yet. You survived. You made it out alive. Now enjoy that life like nobody's watching.