Well she reminds me of myself. Uncomfortable talking about myself and wording what I need combined with partners that never tried or wanted to make me feel good/focus on my needs and that combo just basically made me close up about it. Until my husband who refuses to give up stepped in and showed that he cares about me and my enjoyment as well. I'm still pretty closed off and have to work on my own shame/embarrassment, but he is the only person to ever make me. So maybe take your time and learn/show that it's not about you sometimes and really focus on her enjoyment instead of making it about yourself and your self pity. She might just come out of her shell. I don't mean this in a mean way.