Submitted by likeatether t3_1266ub2 in tifu
I (33F) have a new boyfriend (40M) I am head over heels about. He is smart and handsome and kind and so sexy. We have been going out for a couple of months and I am completely enamored. We decided to go away for a weekend to NYC and he surprised me at the hotel with the most decadent, buttery pastries and I couldn't stop myself. I ate them despite knowing my stomach wouldn't be happy after. And it wasn't. It was rumbling and cramping. But I held the gas in like a trooper. There was no way this Romeo was gonna see that side of me. So I went to to take a shower. I made sure the water was coming down nice and loud. My dream man was in the other room. Door was closed. Coast was clear. It was good, I would just let a few controlled toots out so there was no way he could hear it. Alas, as the little trumpet let out it's first notes, I felt the arms of this beautiful man wrap themselves around me from behind. He wanted to surprise and join his sexy new girlfriend in the shower. The poor man was hoping for a soapy hot babe but instead was met with wet naked farts (which are the worst kind.)He couldn't stop laughing- oh well.
TL;DR: farted in front of new boyfriend when I thought I was alone. He surprised me in the shower - so mortifying