I just want to say you’re being too hard on yourself. I’m not married so I don’t understand the full scope of what you’re feeling but to me the “loser” in this scenario would be the guy who, upon discovering his wife is suddenly disabled, abandons her to her own devices. You did the exact opposite and are, in fact, struggling courageously to provide a life for the woman you love.

While it would be amazing to provide for her that is something you can work on building. We all have to start somewhere. You said yourself that you’ve been making sacrifices and sacrifices require courage. If you have courage it’s impossible to be a loser. Chin up and keep working hard, you’ll get there together and it’ll make it all the nicer when you do.