TIFU, camping mishap
Okay so let's set the scene. My gf and I thought we'd go camping as a fun date and went to a somewhat local woods. Not the first time we've been so we had a general idea of what we were doing and had an awesome time, gas stove and snacks galore with a few beers and the great outdoors. We were using a poncho which is basically just a waterproof sheet that goes over the top with no sides, not a fully enclosed tent.
Anyway the fun part, before we're about to settle in for a glorious night of blanket tug of war in the trees the overwhelming urge to go and relieve myself needs addressing. Baby wipes in hand I venture into the darkness and find a good spot to release a considerably runny poo, unpleasant but necessary. Clean myself up and head back to get my head down without any problems.
The next morning we wake up, not in any particular rush we're sitting under the poncho and hear I lady shout something about her dog which is running towards us which could've been bad, no lead ( which is fine because she probably wasn't expecting to find people camping on her dog walk) so immediately I'm like oh okay maybe it's not the most friendly but he seemed nice enough at first. She shouts again and I hear her this time warning us of her dirty dog. What I was not expecting when the curious fluffer arrived to say hello and investigate our little area was the dogs face was smothered in poo! He's poking his head in and around verywhere but luckily only got a little on the blanket. She promptly apologises saying he rolled in something nasty, puts its lead on and away they go with more apologies.
My gf then gets a baby wipe and wipes the blanket down while I feel panic set in as realisation comes across my mind that she's wiping up my poop from the night before that the dog has obviously found and thought was rather interesting. I went for a quick "wee" to basically confirm my worst nightmare and surely enough I was not wrong. I then proceed to explain to my gf what knowledge I had just acquired and thankfully instead of vomit and disgust she laughs for a good 10 minutes at how ridiculous that just was and the fact that that poor woman was saying sorry to us after I basically shat on her dog.
The shame!
TL;DR. Went camping, pooped in the woods, dog finds said poop and returns to sender in the form of play which gf then cleans up not knowing it was mine.
Update: Everyone who suggested a shovel/spade/trowel I completely agree with you however we hadn't packed one. Definitely a must for if we ever brave a third attempt. And for all the shade thrown my way, I also agree. Im not trying to hide from that at all, that's why I posted it here in the first place. She's definitely a keeper and for those asking why I told her, I just couldn't keep that knowledge to myself.