l3g3ndairy t1_j2ablfi wrote on December 30, 2022 at 8:04 PM

Nah man. You need to let your current partner go. It's not fair to ask someone to trust you again after that, and I think it's pretty clear that you don't actually love your current partner. If you did, you wouldn't have gone and seen your ex like that. You knew what you were doing. I'm not saying you're a terrible person for doing it, but if you were willing to cheat on your partner then she's not the one and it's horribly selfish and cruel to expect her to move past your infidelity.

seasamgo t1_j2ah4s0 wrote on December 30, 2022 at 8:40 PM

>I'm not saying you're a terrible person for doing it

Eh, I'll say that. This wasn't just a slip up, it was a deliberate runway walk down the street to fucking their current partner over.

[deleted] t1_j2ap0co wrote on December 30, 2022 at 9:31 PM

[removed]

slimzimm t1_j2cl2p1 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 6:15 AM

I know I’ll get downvotes for saying this but I really think the people of Reddit have a problem with saying things in absolutes. Maybe OP isn’t a terrible PERSON but OP did a terrible thing in that moment. If I do something idiotic, I don’t mind being told I did something stupid, but I really hate being called an idiot just because I did something wrong one time. OP you need to work through this, get counseling, end your current relationship, and learn from this bad experience.

seasamgo t1_j2cn6d2 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 6:38 AM

I'm not going to downvote you. I get it and absolutes aren't always helpful. But this seemed deliberate and selfish, not just a slip and dumb. We may feel or be the best person on the inside but we're still terrible when we do terrible things. What's that quote from Dark Knight? "It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you." Doesn't mean they can't learn from it and work to be a better person, but damn.