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-Chris-V- t1_j1dqpsw wrote

I realize that I'm the outlier here, but honestly, I think it's pretty hypocritical to take a free pass in this situation.

Although historically the answer would have been to shrug it off and say "meh, two adults had a few drinks, things went places nobody planned for, but oh well, no biggie, we probably would have ended up dating or something anyway. There must have been some underlying chemistry." -- the current standards of consent in our society have no room for this kind of situation.

If the tables were turned, I suspect you would be losing your mind.

I don't think it's okay to have it both ways. Hold yourself to the same ethical standards you would hold a man to, even if strangers on the internet say it's no big deal.

If your take on this is to shrug your shoulders, say "meh, two adults had a few drinks, things went places nobody planned for, but oh well, no biggie, we probably would have ended up dating or something anyway. There must have been some underlying chemistry." Then it might just be time to revise your sense of ethics to better align with your actions.

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PassengerNumerous607 OP t1_j1dzo1v wrote

I think I replied to you before, but that is the purpose of this post. I am trying to work through whether or not I crossed a line or I’m over reacting, since things like cuddling or hugging can seem so inconsequential and juvenile to people. I felt I crossed a line and wanted other opinions so thank you for that perspective. We’re having lunch at his request in about an hour so we’ll see.

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-Chris-V- t1_j1e12r5 wrote

I hope it goes well, and that this is an opportunity for growth. I feel like you're on the cusp of personally getting past some complicated issues we're grappling with in our society. I wish you well.

For what it's worth, even though it's not the right subreddit to say so, my vote is NTA.

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-Chris-V- t1_j1hmvr4 wrote

So, how was lunch?

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PassengerNumerous607 OP t1_j1hyea3 wrote

my comment about lunch. Not much happened. I’m lazy and don’t feel like editing anything anymore so you got good timing and I’ll tell u what was said via text last night. He said “idk how or why it would, but if it happened again i would not complain”

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-Chris-V- t1_j1i1isz wrote

Sounds like maybe in January you should offer to buy this guy a beer (jk, lol, maybe a non alcohol related date that's deliberately a date).

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