TIFU - I BROKE THE LAST HOPE TO GET BACK WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Submitted by ICe_Man0101 t3_10f9f55 in tifu

I (23 male) have been in a relationship with (19 female) whom i hoped would be the love of my live. We had been together for a year now and she was the perfect girl on every point. We were working at the same job but for some reasons her family and friends couldnt know about our relationship as being together was seen as an issue in our job. Our secret relationship was going well for a long time but the fact that we had to hide everything to everyone was starting to become an issue. Add the fact that we couldnt see each other alot outside as she was still busy with her studies and our relationship was getting more and more complicated. Few days before chistmas we has a long conversation and decided it was better for us to break up for now as it became hard to handle everything. Yet we knew that by summer I would leave this job so there was a possibility that we could get back together in the future. We deleted each other on every socials and only kept our phone number in case of emergency. At work we kept acting like usual and everything was going fine until yesterday. We had a long conversation with the two only friends that knew our situation and later on that night we started texting and i explained her that in the end i was happier being with her and hide it to everyone than not being with her at all. I knew she wasnt gonna answer positively to this i was kinda prepared for it but i then made a huge mistake, i told her that even if we could be together like before we could still sleep together and have some good time. I probably said it in a wrong way it was too early to think about that and i deeply regret it now the fact is that she took it really bad told me i "broke her heart" wich made me cry , she then told me that everything was over we would become two strangers now ans that there was no point to try to solve it her decision is clear. I know that IFU yet i'm convinced that this girl is the love of my life and i have no idea on how to get her to forgive me i just hope time will solve it and we will have an opportunity to talk it through one day.

TL ; DR : I broke up with the love of my life in the hope to get back together when i leave my job nut i asked her few weeks later to see her again to sleep with her , now she doesnt want to talk and to see me anymore.

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Chemical_Imagination t1_j4vdnaj wrote

This read like a 12 year old who’s never been in a relationship. Sorry to be blunt dude, but seems like you gotta do a lot more maturing before taking on a serious relationship

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According_Relief_707 t1_j4vguo2 wrote

I agree. I’m 22 as is my fiancé, and I felt like this was needy, immature and possibly a first time liking someone.

Also, word of advice, relationships shouldn’t start out a secret

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SpaceforceSpiff t1_j4vry7s wrote

Hate to be callous but you got some serious maturing to do before you’re ready for a relationship based on reading this.

Work on yourself, think from other’s perspectives before you say things, learn some more empathy. There will be others, but if you don’t shape yourself up first things will end just as poorly with them.

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Theometer1 t1_j4wl4er wrote

Had to double check if it said 23 or 13M lol

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Vast_Reflection t1_j4x1jr8 wrote

The way you write makes it sound like she was your first love. And first loves really really hurt when they end. It sucks. It took me years to get over my first love. It takes time. Let yourself grieve and heal.

Also going forward into the future, it will be a rare ex that would be ok with just hooking up. If you just want sex, find a friend with benefits or something. Hooking up with an ex can bring back feelings for both people, for one person (who then gets hurt all over again), or it’s just not the same because both of you have moved on and it’s kinda pointless.

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mrtzjam t1_j4xtibr wrote

"We were working at the same job but for some reasons her family and friends couldnt know about our relationship as being together was seen as an issue in our job."

Sounds to me you were her side piece that she didn't want her friends or family members to know about.

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bbb1ue15 t1_j4z86u9 wrote

You seem too immature to be in a romance with someone. Grow up dude! And why are you messing with a teenager 🤨 at ur big age??!! I don’t understand how people in their 20s want to date people who are 18-20 years olds. The fact that you see nothing wrong with that proves that you are a low vibrational being that needs to do serious work on themselves (journaling, finding yourself, self improvement) before even attempting to court someone.

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Vast_Reflection t1_j4x0fud wrote

The way you write makes it sound like she was your first love. And first loves really really hurt when they end. It sucks. It took me years to get over my first love. It takes time. Let yourself grieve and heal.

Also going forward into the future, it will be a rare ex that would be ok with just hooking up. If you just want sex, find a friend with benefits or something. Hooking up with an ex can bring back feelings for both people, for one person (who then gets hurt all over again), or it’s just not the same because both of you have moved on and it’s kinda pointless.

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Empire2k5 t1_j4zs7j7 wrote

Jesus wall of text, that hurt my eyes. My word of advice, you have more growing up to do, as others have said. and probably find someone closer to your age. Idk how someone in their mid 20's date people just outta high school.

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Zahrad70 t1_j50hlin wrote

Your entire relationship came second to some situation you won’t even bother explaining. SHE came second. Most of your post is about how she was perfect for you, not about how good you were together.

From here, feels like you have some growing to do. Sure, you made the last move that ended things, but it was already happening. It was going to end. Trite as it sounds, you are young. Hopefully you will learn from this, and your next relationship will be stronger.

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