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slimzimm t1_j5zgxrq wrote

Reply to comment by [deleted] in TIFU by asking my friend to take their socks off which led to the end of our friendship and A messed up digestive system . by Unpleasant_1

What could he have said that would satisfy you enough to believe he owned and accepted responsibility for his behavior? I’m genuinely curious, because I felt like he was owning up to being a weirdo.

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FreighterTot t1_j60ckoj wrote

It reads a little bit like it was less of a joke than op thought, and possibly that they themselves aren't all that aware. The ironic feet pics was what really made me wonder.

But I also don't think this comment was the best way to help them think more critically about their own actions.

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mcnathan80 t1_j626sxp wrote

Yep I notice they also didn’t include their friends gender. I’m thinking op DOES have a foot fetish perved on his “friend” tried to walk it back as a joke and self-harmed in response to his consequences.

Hope he gets some therapy

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mcnathan80 t1_j626gym wrote

This is a pretty common tactic for emotionally immature people. Basically they super overvillianize themselves for the very obvious bad thing they did in hopes they look like the victim and will be comforted

“Look at me on this cross! Have I not suffered enough?!”

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Unpleasant_1 OP t1_j644xhq wrote

Any tips for not falling in a overvillianing spiral ? I want to break out of this habit.

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mcnathan80 t1_j65efkd wrote

It's tough ngl

I was raised by narcissist substance abusers and developed A LOT of bad habits/survival strategies, but this was the most pernicious. Not saying you or are parents are narcissists, but my apple didn't fall far from that tree...

I would strongly recommend finding a DBT therapist to help you work out your inner dialog

In the short term, start doing things that make you respect yourself (i.e. dont tell anyone, or expect praise). You can't care about anyone more than yourself. Literally. Anything more is codependent. Your own self esteem IS the bar

I'm pulling for you, you've got a long, tough slog but you're young and asking the right questions. At least the questions I wish I had asked when I was 17 lol

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