Submitted by Pure_Discipline_293 t3_10jnvie in tifu
Actual fuck up happened yesterday at the dinner table after school. After effects of my fuck up have me currently at the ER getting my son checked out for anaphylactic shock.
Yesterday, My kid came home and was obviously upset. So I asked him what was wrong ( he’s 8 so he still talks to me about this stuff ). He proceeds to tell me that at lunch, another kid in his class is bullying him about his peanut allergy, saying that he’s faking his allergy and that he’s gonna wipe some peanut butter on him to prove that he is faking. My kid says to him that he isn’t faking and that could die just from touching peanut butter…… other kid said he didn’t care and that he wanted him to die anyway….At this point my kid said that he told the teacher and the lunch room monitor who both know about his allergy and they were able to intervene yesterday.
I had a long talk with my kid about doing the right thing and telling the teacher and not letting this other kid make him lash out. Then we talked about the hard part…..
Now, I’m sure I’m gonna generate some hate with some people here with what I told him next and that’s fine, we are allowed to have differing opinions….. but I’m not apologizing to anyone for teaching my kid to stand up and defend himself.
After we talked about doing the right thing, and doing everything you can do to avoid a bad situation, I told him that sometimes you have to do the wrong thing to protect yourself and that should always be the absolute last resort…. When he asked what I meant, I told him that if that kid as long as the bully is only taunting him with words then he should always walk away but if he ever did try to put peanut butter on you then you hit him as hard as you can with the side of your hand in the throat….. kind like a throat chop…. Then you stop unless the bully keeps trying.
Fast forward to this very afternoon and I get a call from the principle of the school saying that my son assaulted another student and needed to be picked up. I asked what happened and of course they won’t talk about it over the phone…. But I smiled a little bit because I already knew.
I get to school and i see my kid sitting in the office tears streaming down his face. So I walk in and the principle tries talking to me but I blow right past her and ask my kid what happened. He says the bully had peanut butter on his fingers and he was threatening to wipe it on his face. Then my kid said that he did what I told him to do and hit the kid in the throat because he wiped peanut butter on his arm. I looked at his arm that was pretty swollen up, and asked him if he was having trouble breathing. Kid said he was fine just a little shaky.
At this point the principle interrupts with her “mr so&so, we can’t just have kids hitting other children just because they had a little peanut butter wiped on them….. kids do this kind of thing… we are gonna have to suspend him for a few days”
It’s obvious to me that principle is clueless about the peanut allergy so I cut her off and asked my kid if he told the bully to stop before he hit the other kid. He said yes I yelled at him several times that I’m allergic to peanut butter and told him to stop and he just kept acting like he was gonna wipe it on me.
Now the principle has a shocked look on her face. I ask to see the video from the cafeteria and sure as shit my kid can be seen and heard screaming and trying to back away from his bully. At the point where it looks like the bully grabs my kids arm, my kids yells at the top of his little lungs “ I told you to stop”! Then he grabs the bully by the arm, pulls him towards himself and executes the best clothesline I’ve ever seen anyone do and floors this kid. Then my kid sits down and starts crying in the middle of the cafeteria.
At this point I tell the principle that If my kid isn’t allowed back at school tomorrow I was consulting with a lawyer about the attempted murder of my son. I also said that assuming he didn’t have any other ill effects from this I would be fine not pressing charges against the school and the bully since it looks like he may have already learned his lesson.
Since I didn’t get a response and it’s been about half an hour since the peanut butter was wiped on my kids arm, I picked him up and left to take him To the Er to get checked out.
About 10 minutes ago I got a phone call from the school board superintendent saying that the school board has decided to let my kid come back to school tomorrow.
Edit#1 - kid has a clean bill of health form the hospital. Swelling is starting to go down after some epinephrine.
Edit#2 - kid got cookies and cream ice cream!
Edit#3 - I have been invited to a meeting with the school board Thursday afternoon. Will update afterwards.
Edit#4 - Just left the meeting which wasn’t with the school board as I was led to believe on the phone, it was with the principle and a legal representative from the school board.
Had lawyer with me and prior to this meeting and we discussed what I wanted out of this meeting.
My main concerns were:
#1. Making sure that there was a procedure in place to keep allergens away from my child.
#2. Ensuring that this child has no ability to assault my child again.
I also wanted to know how it was that the principle wasn’t informed or aware of my child’s allergy prior to trying to tell me that he was gonna be suspended.
Lawyers talked legal stuff for a little bit while I listened and principal listened. Eventually my turn to talk came and I simply explained points #1 & #2 above. I also asked why principle didn’t take time to assess the whole situation….
The explanation I got was that she was told by the monitor that it was almond butter not peanut butter by the monitor, so she really didn’t look further into it. Which I can understand her point but it doesn’t make things any better from my perspective.
So cut and dry stuff first….
The bully child has been moved to a different school. Unfortunately, I don’t have any legal recourse to find out which school he has been moved to and frankly don’t care.
Cafeteria monitor has been fired. I didn’t hear this at the meeting but my sons teacher called last night last night after school and told me…. I asked why and I was told that she was distracted my her phone when all of the commotion started which explains why this was allowed to progress in the first place -
Based on the recommendation of a friend ( thanks AX ) and many of you via PM, i requested, and was accommodated with, an allergy free table at our school ( and I’m being told every other school in the district will be implementing one as well ) where children with know allergies will eat lunch at and anyone who eats with them will have their lunches inspected by a teacher and a monitor to ensure no allergens are present.
TL;DR
Told my kid to punch a bully in the throat. Kid listened and did it the next day and got suspended for defending himself. principle had no damn idea that my kid had a peanut allergy and was then unsuspended when I threatened to talk to a lawyer about attempted murder charges…..