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ltethe t1_iybpaci wrote

I remember when I was dating my now wife, the first three months were sleepless dopamine marathons. I remember thinking very distinctly, “This is not sustainable, I have a life to live, every iota of time is going into this.”

Been together 10 years now, life is quite a bit more sustainable at this point.

The teens/20s were mad, just hopping from dopamine fix to dopamine fix, I can’t imagine how insane mixing all that with drugs must be.

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Killbot_Wants_Hug t1_iyc6ctw wrote

While I've never been into drugs, I did hang out with a lot of people who were into the drug scene.

Some of them fell in love and got married. But what I found was true pretty often, is that if one person decided they wanted to get clean, it usually caused a break up. They often found that either drugs were the only thing they had in common or they just actively disliked each other when they weren't high.

I always found it weird that drugs changed your perception of who you liked and how much by such a large margin. But then again I guess I'm much friendlier when I'm drinking, so in a way it does that to me as well.

Also in a relationship I'm sure it's kind of rare for both people to decide they want to get sober at the same time. And I'm sure that makes the getting clean phase of the relationship extra stressful. And a lot of times when one decides to get clean it's the girl and it's because she's pregnant.

In short, maybe don't get married or pregnant during the drug use phase of your life.

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