Submitted by PasghettiSquash t3_zys5nk in todayilearned
Wish there wasn’t a character limit on the title. He also:
Guy somehow lived 5 lives in 38 years
Yea didn’t even mention he stood up to The Fratellis, his own flesh and blood, to protect The Goonies
Big fan of rocky road, too, as I understand it.
Where’s the movie?
Somehow I can see John Matuszak being a big fan of rocky road and baby ruthies
What movie?
I had no idea about any of these, and I consider myself a fairly solid Goonies fan. Crazy story of a life apparently!
That’s all I could think. He had a biography written in 1987, complete with a cover photo you’d expect. But I can’t believe there’s not a movie about this - some strange multiverse of Unbroken or Boys in the Boat
Have probably watched this movie 100 times, one of my kids said they had to go to the bathroom today, and I kept saying “HEY MIKEYYY, GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM??” So figured we’d throw it on tonight, and pulled up the IMDB (as one does). Can’t believe I never checked his backstory.
Who could play him?
Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (The Mountain) is around his height at 6'9".
So he's the definition of "Live Fast, Die Young."
Hey you guyssssss!!!
zug, zug, lana!
You gotta put a double space at the end of a line or double line break after every line for that to format properly.
Maybe he's best known as Sloth to you young whipper-snappers...
Seriously though the Raiders of those years were fucking insane and he was the poster boy.
I heard a story where he partied all night long the night before the superbowl when the raiders played it in New Orleans. Wasn’t his best game, but he did well enough
My favorite scene of the Tooz in Caveman was when Tonda (Matuszak) decides his tribe needs to walk upright.
Revenge on an abusive family is the best catharsis
That's what they should call it!
Fun movie!
Call what?
Guy sounds like an oversized POS. Legit sounds like a extra large frat star.
He also posed almost-nude in Playgirl magazine, IIRC.
I take it you're in the Air Force
fuck what a life
Lol, what a man. What does "ODing" mean? Oh, maybe overdosing?
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Okay. Some of things are just things that happen to people in life. Calm down. You don’t have to post his entire wiki.
Yeah, why oh why haven’t we all been looking into sloths acting page??
Man if that's living fast and dying young, just give me the opposite. That's the kinda shit you want to read about somebody else but not live through yourself.
Tooz you crazy
The Tooze played Sloth?!?! Aside from HOFers, I've always thought of Tooze as one of the players that epitomized the AL Davis era, "Just Win Baby" and don't worry what anyone outside the org. thinks of you. I remember reading an article about how hard he partied before the SB XV 20 years ago...legend.
I mean, a restraining order is... A bit of a twist from the other fairly positive stuff.
Raider Nation baby
I dont know most of it seems cool minus the dying
I know everyone in here is hyped on The Goonies, but Caveman was such a fun & goofy watch. That was one of my childhood favorites.
His first appearance on film was in one of my favorite movies: North Dallas Forty.
I constantly do the "Hey MIKEY GOTTA GO BATHROOM" bit, as well as "ITS WET AINT IT" and nobody seems to ever know what I'm talking about.
I had no The Tooz was in any movies. I remember him from football.
You might say his life was a.. Rocky.. Road?
Beautiful lol
Don't forget The Ice Pirates.
Youre boring.
Just start taking steroids and you too can have huge muscle growth, anger issues, and cardiac problems.
Putting a kid into the hospital for 8 weeks. Super cool.
They need to do a Dollop episode on this guy.
And the CPR. And the attempted vehicular manslaughter.
Ummmm. Matuszak was very, VERY famous as an NFL player. What are goonies?
He was also a really nice guy. I met him when I was like 7. He said the 'Hey you guys' line.
Sounds like an asshole to me
I hate to tell you, but for some people The Goonies loom much larger in their lives than the Raiders.
Relevant username
How can anyone forget space herpes
Let alone the fact that a lot of people that were familiar with John and his athletic career didn't actually know that was him inside that Sloth mask.
With 2 brothers dying of cystic fibrosis, it's very likely he was affected (or a carrier) as well. I had friends growing up - dad died of CF at 40, first friend at 28, second at 35, a couple years after a lung transplant.
They all new it was coming.
RIP
Yeah, he's the Tooz to me.
I'm 51 and didn't know! Learn something new every day
I'm misremembering players. My bad
smells armpit... Tonda!
I wonder if he was XYY? Sounds hyper-aggressive without fear of consequences. Most of those guys end up in prison or dead at a young age.
My childhood favorite
Did he do it under the name Ron Honcho, and spread his butt cheeks and everything?
Sigh. They're talking about a hypothetical movie they think should be made.
Watch any video footage of him near the end. It’s pretty brutal
Probably would have been great at javelin and hammer-throw, too.
Super Bowl 15. I was a 7 yr old Eagles superfan. The Raiders were a wild card team, that barely made the playoffs. The Eagles had the best record in football. All of the Raiders were down on Bourbon Street getting wrecked the night before the game. I remember they said that they had to pick dudes up off the street and hustle them to the Superdome by gametime. Meanwhile, the squeaky clean Eagles, with their religious christian coach Dick Vermeil, had a strict lights out at 9 and no leaving the hotel. Raiders blew the doors off the birds that day. I wept.
Nanana naa nu nanana naa nu, nananana nana nanaaa nu
CPR, huh? Too many Baby Ruths.
I like when people say shit like that while being self aware enough to realize people over 40 grew up on the goonies
I forgot that he was in Goonies.
Being a carrier of CF doesn't make you more likely to have an enlarged heart or OD on Darvocet. Source: I'm a CF carrier and both my sisters kids have CF
Lyle Alzado was right on par for his aggressive style on the field. Those two were roid-rage induced beasts on the line.
Die young, stay pretty
I grew up in that era and I legit had no idea this was the Goonies guy.
Nothing better than 70's NFL. I can't believe there hasn't been a movie or at least a docu series about the lifestyles etc. It wasn't even a bad look till Lawrence Taylor took it to the N'th degree.
Negative, Ghost Rider.
So while he was playing in the NFL for the Oilers early in his career, I guess he was upset with management, so to get back at them he signed a contract with the World Football League to play with the Houston Texans. After 7 plays, Houston sheriffs walked on to the field to give him the restraining order to prevent him from playing for 2 professional teams. Also I’d say there’s plenty of negative stuff mixed in there too.
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Hah my thoughts exactly. Fucking loved that ridiculous movie as a child XD
Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in. Because they might have daddy longlegs and um... dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!
It’s possible he could have taken the Mickey Mantle approach to life of thinking he was gonna die young of something.
Mickey Mantle’s father and various male relatives died young from Hodgkin’s, and Mickey thought that’d happen to him too. Those family members worked in lead/zinc mining which could have a tie to Hodgkin’s and Mickey made it to 63 before dying from liver cancer after a lifetime of drinking a lot.
I don’t think they could get Braun Strowman’s hair or acting skills right for that kind of role. Hair-wise Matsuzak sorta looked like a giant bearded John Belushi.
Eh, as someone who doesn't watch football only a handful of names of football players have seeped into my awareness, and this is the first I've heard of Matuszak. Goonies on the other hand is likely in the top ten most well known 80's movies.
Good. I still have a few years to achieve all of that. Can't be that hard to get in the NFL in your 30s after never being athletic right?
See: Semi-Tough, many others.
Oh shit. I never saw The Goonies, but I knew him as Corporal Elmo Hitalski in M*A*S*H. He was passed over for a promotion to Sergeant by Major Winchester (among others). They end up giving him faked papers and a "transfer". Newly-minted Sergeant Maxwell Klinger calls the MPs and reports Corporal Hitalski as being AWOL, impersonating a sergeant, and going to try to grab a transport out of Kimpo Air Base.
Winchester: "He's a rather large gentleman, possessing a fist the approximate site of Ohio. He has assured me that, should he not be promoted, he will pound me into the ground like a croquet stake." -- Promotion Commotion
I thought that was really Sloth's face in the Goonies. Like, I thought they hired a real life deformed person for the role. Like that deformed kid in the Mask movie.
Mike Honcho
Goonies? Sloth? John Matuszak's best appearance was his locker room rant scene in North Dallas Forty.
I don’t think I’d say he’s best known for his Goonies role.
I don’t know why I needed this, and I don’t know how it will help me, but I did, and it will. Thank you.
Fwiw, Mickey's dad, Mutt, worked in the Picher, Ok. lead mines, which produced something like 40% of all the lead the U.S. used in WWII....the entire town has since been evacuated and is a superfund site. Was on 60 Minutes.
I imagine they’re using the term “hit on” pretty liberally there…
Hafþór is also an abysmal actor, so probably best to leave him out of it.
slow clap
I loved that movie at the time. I was around 14, so I wonder how it held up
I’m so glad to be a young whippersnapper again and not an out of touch middle aged man!
I grew up in the Oakland area in the 1970s. Like some of the players attended the same church I attended (players didn’t make the big big money back then either. My dad went to real estate school with an ex-Raider as well). The Tooz was really kind and gentle towards me when I met him. He was enormous, but I wasn’t afraid of him because he was very sweet towards me. I only met him the one time.
The Tooz. He was a legend. Sometimes I confuse him with Lyle Alzado, another Raider who lived fast and died young, but he died of Cancer.
After he retired Alzado admitted using steroids and said they caused his cancer. Idk if they actually did or not but he was one of the first NFL players I remember who admitted using them.
My mom liked that movie. She introduced me to it after she moved in with us. Really cheesy movie but fun to watch.
Nice roast DrBBQ
The title actually inverts the matters for which John Matuszak was “best known.” The factoid of him playing “Sloth” in “The Goonies” is a “lesser-known” fact.
I never heard of the goonies
Atuk!
Boy are you in for a treat
Now there's a name I haven't heard in years
Hey you guys.
Thank you. Saying John Matuszak is best known for The Goonies is like saying OJ Simpson is best known for the Naked Gun movies.
OJ was funnier than expected in Naked Gun. Might even say he killed at that role.
The problem was he took his work home with him.
I don’t love it, but suspect it’s largely about nostalgia for many, but I also recognize it as a cultural landmark for many of a certain age
His book is Pretty good
I didn't know it, but I DO remember him in in Caveman.
What is the 4th character in his name called and how is it pronounced?
/r/yesyesyesno.
"candy gram for Mongo...candy gram for Mongo"
"Mongo only pawn, in game of life"
Additional fun fact, pro wrestling fans. While at college, he once got the absolute shit beaten out of him by future wrestler and attempted murderer "Dirty" Dick Slater in a bar fight.
That was Alex Karras of the Detroit Lions
yea, got that one wrong, can I get "famous Titles" for 500 instead Alex
Ho ho ho, I've got you topped. I had no idea who he was as a football player, so I couldn't know him from Goonies, but a picture of him looked immediately familiar, and I was like.. isn't that the guy from Ice Pirates? https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4f/75/11/4f7511045ff7c2dfbb2ca27495e8441e.jpg
He was the Antonio Brown of his day. Partied continuously, was on steroids, qualudes, and Crown Royal for most of his life. Did two stints in rehab.
He got to make zug-zug with Catherine Bach, so all in all, a good life.
So many players on that team were basically prison football movie caricatures - Ted Hendricks, Lester Hayes, Lyle Alzado, and of course Kenny "The Snake" Stabler leading the charge while ripping a Winston on the sidelines and tossing around his glorious mullet before heading back out to punch the Steelers in their collective dick.
Everything comes full circle
Yea honestly I couldn’t figure out how to word it, but figured most Redditors would recognize that the most
He was in a lot of projects. IMdB
I didnt know it was a mask
The Goonies story is wild:
Ke Huy Kuan saw a massive comeback with Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.
Jeff Cohen, who played Chunk was able to get into law school, and Richard Donner (director) helped him pay for it. He works as an entertainment lawyer, including his friend and client, Ke Huy Kwan.
Brandon was played by Josh Brolin who's doing amazing work.
Sean Astin has had an awesome career, including The Lord of the Rings, and Stranger Things.
Kerri Green want on to film roles and eventually production.
Martha Plimpton went on to a super acclaimed career, particularly in TV.
Anyway, this just came about because I watched everything, everywhere the other day, and looking him up lead me to the others.
informedlate t1_j27lvuu wrote
The ballzak on this guy…