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Pyroechidna1 t1_j9juzjo wrote

> All Viens had to do was own up to his misstatement. Admit his words were hurtful to some. Apologize fully and without reservation. Express intent to get to know the WAARC folks so he can increase his understanding and empathy.

No apology is ever accepted in these situations. You and I both know that wouldn’t work.

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QuicheSmash t1_j9jwv8p wrote

That would have worked.

What doesn't work is white men acting like owning up to their misguided beliefs or apologizing emphatically is tantamount to death.

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Pyroechidna1 t1_j9jwybp wrote

Show me one case where a white man like him ever apologized to the satisfaction of his critics.

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Inyabung t1_j9k0kbc wrote

You’re seriously asking for proof that apologies make people feel better? Are you 5?

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cpujockey t1_j9k3754 wrote

I guess the question is - what exactly would satisfy his critics?

I have no horse in the game, just curious what a pound of flesh in this situation looks like.

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mayberrymachiavelli t1_j9k022m wrote

You’re conflating things. Apologizing would have worked at defusing tensions. It would not be a free pass to going back to normal like nothing happened.

That’s the mindset of a “nice guy” — “I was nice, you owe me sex.” “I apologized, give me what I want and stop judging me for my actions.”

Accountability is still a thing and no one owes this man anything, certainly not a position of authority.

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BudsKind802 t1_j9k0ll0 wrote

A sincere apology has multiple parts:

  • Expressing regret

  • Accept responsibility

  • Making restitution

  • Requesting forgiveness

  • Genuine promise of change

This guy's non-apology statement was along the lines of a toss off "I'm sorry if people were offended but..."

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Pyroechidna1 t1_j9k0oze wrote

I know that. The author of the article suggests that he could have made a sincere apology instead, and my point is that no apology is ever sincere enough in these circles.

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WorkingMinimum t1_j9ma307 wrote

Idk, I think if he wrote a manifesto about how white people are all guilty of all difficulties everyone else in America has ever faced, then appointed a black replacement for his position, then killed himself, the majority of opposition would at least commend him for being “one of the good ones”. Not sure if they’d forgive though, and even if this specific infraction is forgiven, it would still be used to demonstrate institutional racism.

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