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pomegranatecloud t1_jaa7z8o wrote

People don’t just randomly stop to talk to you for no reason. It’s because they want something from you - 99% of the time it’s a scam or beggars. Ignore and keep walking. You’re not obligated to give people money just because they ask you for it no matter how aggressive. You’re not obligated to be nice or polite. Ignore and walk away.

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solidrecommendations t1_jaaf7m0 wrote

While this is true, if someone kindly asks me for money etc. and I don’t feel like helping, I say something like “sorry, not today, hope you have a good one.” 90% of the time folks say something like you too and it isn’t a big deal. The other 10% of the time they say nothing back which is also fine. I just hate treating people like they don’t exist.

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romanceordelusion t1_jaaydq2 wrote

Agree, don’t treat people like they don’t exist if it looks like they’re just asking for cash. Just say sorry and keep going. If you’re a young woman and a man is leering, do not make eye contact.

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nakoros t1_jac8jkh wrote

I acknowledge their existence, apologize, and say I don't have cash (which is usually true, I prefer to not carry cash).

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LoganSquire t1_jacasoz wrote

Why are you apologizing? To make yourself feel better? If you were really sorry, you’d start carrying cash.

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erotomachy t1_jacic91 wrote

Sorry, I don’t have time to fight trolls today.

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Gumburcules t1_jacv3oo wrote

It's literally just something you say to be polite.

It's the same as saying "fine" when someone asks how you're doing even if you're not fine, or saying "it was great to see you" after you run into someone you don't particularly like. Everybody knows it's a canned answer but it shows that you're willing to do the bare minimum to not be an asshole.

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AlphaStormyFire t1_jaano2m wrote

Or they cuss you out when you do this

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aallzz t1_jaboo8g wrote

I mean if getting cussed out 1 out of 10 times is the cost of being decent to another human being the other 9 times that seems to be a cost well worth bearing.

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Bobinho4 t1_jabmbex wrote

I am with you on this one albeit the response percentage differs: 80% positive response 10% nothing 10% say fucking racist etc or screаm at me

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romanceordelusion t1_jacixqh wrote

A homeless guy called me a racist name just for walking on the sidewalk past him, if someone is gonna lash out that’s on them

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hullyk t1_jaapzer wrote

As a younger woman, I find it’s safest to ignore and keep walking. I always have airpods in (if you are uneasy, have them in with nothing playing so you can still hear). If you are comfortable, say “sorry” and keep walking

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FejizeKoy t1_jac927i wrote

Though I once said sorry to somebody and this triggered the guy, who then rushed at me screaming “oh you’re sorry, are you!?!” So I don’t even say that anymore.

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sutisuc t1_jadawhy wrote

There’s really no one size all solution honestly. Sometimes saying sorry works, sometimes saying nothing works and then sometimes when you say nothing they get agitated because you’re “ignoring them” and escalate. Shit sucks

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DCGinkgo t1_jaagt60 wrote

One thing to note is that DC is a Southern city. I'm from further north on the East Coast where ignore and walk away is definitely the thing to do. But in DC, I've found that even if you don't want to engage, nodding no politely, or a "sorry" no (thanks) is good to defuse potential hostility. Most people will just then move on.

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crossedtherubicon20 t1_jaakk85 wrote

I don’t know. I moved to the area in 2020 and early on encountered very aggressive pan handlers. I learned to ignore them. Straight up don’t acknowledge them or just say no and turn/walk away.

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DCGinkgo t1_jae98hf wrote

I have had better luck in DC acknowledging people's existence instead of dissing them, even if I don't give them a cent. But ignoring people can escalate certain encounters. It's a case by case crapshoot. That's been my experience. Went to school here-stayed for years. Then left for years. Came back. Still works. YMMV.

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Katwolf88 t1_jaasy1h wrote

This is great advice. For the love of god, do not talk to anyone on the street.

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romanceordelusion t1_jaayqvl wrote

There’s also scams unfortunately where some folks ask for donations. If you want to donate, go to an orgs website. I can think of another recurring scam where a very nice young couple say they just moved in for law school and need cash for a car lock out. Unfortunately it’s hard to be nice in a city but just say no sorry.

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squuidlees t1_jabar71 wrote

My favorite rebound to canvassers when it’s around the first of the month, “I have rent to pay/just paid rent!” and zoom away.

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