Thank you for the critique. I do admit that this a large cast of characters, and I went overboard on naming (I was trying to avoid constantly going a man/a woman). Also, I don't know how many tissues are in a packet so I guessed what I thought was a reasonable number lol. Glad you enjoyed it.

This was a sweet story with a sweet ending. Good job.

This is sweet, but I would expand on the dialogue before he asks to stand beside her husband. It feels too sudden otherwise.

Thank you for the compliment. Glad you enjoyed it.

##Crying in the Corner

Linda sits in the corner booth at the diner staring at her cup of coffee. A few tears drip into the coffee obscuring her reflection. She sniffles several times and covers her nose with her hand. In spite of her efforts, her weeps escape her mouth and alert the diner to her sadness.

Xavier walks up to the counter and places forty dollars in front of the cashier, Grace. He leans close to her.

"That should be enough to pay for whatever she orders. Keep the change." Grace nods her head, and Xavier puts on his raincoat before he leaves. She takes the money and walks back to the cook, Miguel.

"What did she order?" Grace gestures to Linda.

"So far just coffee. However, I noticed her staring at the loaded breakfast so I started cooking that for her," Miguel says. Grace grabs the menu to check the price.

"Two waffles, scrambled eggs, two sausages, and grits. Comes to about thirty-five dollars with tax." Grace holds out the money. "A man stopped by earlier and gave this to pay for her food."

"Oh, I was already planning on making this meal on the house. Why don't you put that forty dollars in the children's hospital jar," Miguel says.

"Good idea." Grace puts the money inside the jar.

While the two of them talk, Hank has been reading the news in the booth next to Linda. The rain comes down harder outside his window. Hank turns around and sees that Linda's umbrella is old and has a large hole in it. Hank's umbrella is next to hers and is in pristine condition. When Hank finishes reading the news, he steps out of his seat and grabs Linda's umbrella. Using his foot, he moves his umbrella closer to her.

Sarah views the entire scene from the diner counter. Linda wipes her nose several times with her sleeve. After paying her bill with a generous tip, Sarah walks to Linda and produces a packet of tissues from her purse.

"Here, there's about fifty left in there. Use them whenever." Linda pushes the tissues back to Sarah, but Sarah holds out her hand. "No, I insist. You need it more than me."

As Sarah leaves the diner, Linda begins using the tissues instead of her sleeve. She looks around the diner for a trashcan. Tyler who's been sitting on the opposite side of the diner pushes the small trashcan closer to her.

Miguel finishes cooking the loaded breakfast and puts everything on a tray. Grace takes the tray and walks over to Linda. Linda views this action with suspicion.

"I didn't order this," Linda says.

"It's on the house. If you want anything else, just ask," Grace replies.

"Thank you." Linda smiles through the tears.

"No problem. I have no idea what you're going through, but I hope we've helped a little today." Grace smiles as she goes back behind the counter.

r/AstroRideWrites

##Tea and Story Time

Princess Phoebe enjoyed her afternoon tea in the library. It was amazing how many books one could fit into a room, assuming one didn't want to move around very much. She had books about oceans and deserts and books that made one laugh so hard that one started to cry. Books were the fuse for a successful day.

Lord Periwinkle walked into the library and skipped through the bookshelves. In one leap, he crossed several piles of books. Phoebe clapped her hands at his marvelous dance.

“Absolutely wonderful, how do you manage to keep your vitality at your advanced age,” Phoebe said.

“I’m not that old.” Periwinkle shook his head. “I mean that I’m just a young whippersnapper at heart.”

“Would you like some tea? It’s made from starlight.” She drank deep from her cup of stars and smiled.

“Hmm, I’d rather not. I’ve heard that starlight has quite the amarulence to it,” Periwinkle said.

“Well, let’s sing a song together.” Phoebe stood and twirled.

Dolphins on the sea.

Sparrows in the sky.

Love is with me.

How we fly high.

“Uhh.” Periwinkle paused as he searched for words.

I’m stuck on the ground.

There’s no one around.

Please come back to me.

Please, Phoebe come back to me.

Periwinkle shed a tear. “I can’t lose you too.”

“What are you talking about? I’m right here.” Phoebe said.

“You’re here physically, but your mind is somewhere else.”

“What a silly statement.” Phoebe laughed. “Lord Periwinkle, my cattywampus might attack you for that. You know how he loves to eat nonsense.”

“Oscar likes tuna, and he’s even starting to worry about you. He walks into your room and sees the papers on the floor and leaves. You were always his favorite.” Periwinkle breathed. “And our name isn’t Periwinkle. It’s Paterson, and please call me dad.”

Phoebe started to cry. The towers of books around her began to fall. The table disappeared.

“But you never joined our tea parties before. So I had to give you a name. You can’t be dad here.”

“I’m sorry I did that. I thought it was a good bonding time between you and your mother. I would’ve joined if I knew that-”

“Stop it. Right now.” Cracks appeared in the walls and floor. “Queen Priscilla is coming. She’ll be here soon.”

“Phoebe.” Lord Paterson held out his hand. “I want to think the same, but it’s not going to happen.”

“No, she’ll be here. She has to be. It’s tea time, and she’d never miss tea time.” Phoebe said.

“I’m sorry, but she did.” Lord Periwinkle hugged Phoebe. The library disappeared.

A pile of papers and books on the floor replaces it. Stuffed animals and toys are buried underneath the papers. Clothes are scattered around the room. Phoebe and her dad sit on her bed.

“I can’t believe I did that. I’m twelve, not six,” Phoebe says. Oscar wanders into the room; he jumps next to Phoebe and nuzzles her. She smiles and pets him.

“It’s okay. We all handle grief differently.” Her dad wipes the tears off her face.

“Tea and story time with her was so special. I guess I just thought if I recreated it. She’d come back,” Phoebe says.

“If you want, I can make you a cup of tea every morning before school. It’ll be a special treat.”

“Can I tell you a secret,” Phoebe giggles, “I’ve never had tea. It was always pretend. It’s why I said it was made from starlight.”

“I figured. Starlight would burn your tongue. I’ll make sure to start you on a sweet tea.” Her dad stands and walks out, nearly tripping several times. “Oh, I’m sorry that I have to say this, but you should really clean your room.”

“I know dad.” Phoebe looks at the mess she made. “I know.”

r/AstroRideWrites

##Signs from the Universe

Thea sits on her porch enjoying the sunrise when a man walks up the hill. She tries to look over his head to enjoy the last bits of sunlight, but he is determined to get her attention. The man kneels before Thea, but his knees wobble. He bends his neck slightly to avoid looking up at her. Clearly, he isn't used to kneeling.

"Oh great Oracle. I am Archon Basil, and I come to ask for your guidance." He tries to avoid making his words sound commands, but old habits die hard.

"Hmm." Thea stares at him closely. "I don't like you."

The man stands and clenches his fist. He calms himself before he acts impulsive. "Do you mean that my future is filled with tragedy?"

"No, I can't see the future. I just know how to read the universe, and you." Thea scrunches her face. "I've read your type many times. You are about to embark on a campaign of conquest right?"

"Your words are the truth."

"I know they're my words, and archons never visit me for other reasons. It's always they're about to go to war with a great power, and their victory is uncertain. If they've come to me, then they've already lost." Thea takes a sip of wine. "Well, I hope they lose. A few probably won."

"But I am not uncertain. I am confident," Basil says.

"Indeed, I can tell."

"And I am not deluded by my own prowess. Victory is not achieved by one's glory, but by tactics and strategy. One cannot assume victory. One must plan to have an edge."

"Quite true."

"I also understand the value of my soldiers. If they're starving and tired, they would never win. They need to be kept in the best condition and given proper motivation."

"Perhaps I was wrong. You are different than the rest," Thea smiles.

"I had hoped to persuade you of my merits." Basil bows again.

"Yes, I can tell by the shape of the clouds that you will be succeed in destroying a great state. Glory will reign," Thea says.

"Thank you. I've brought some coins for the prediction." Basil hands her a bag.

"Wonderful. Your campaign will be a success," Thea says. Basil turns and leaves. Thea shakes her head.

"That idiot didn't even notice there were no clouds in the sky. That's the problem with archons. They never listen. Always get in their own heads." Thea checks the bag again. "This one does seem more gracious and intelligent than the rest. Granted, he certainly lacked humility like his peers."

Thea sips her wine again. "When will someone come to me to just chat about the weather? Why can't I have that?"

r/AstroRideWrites

Haha. Thank you.

##Red Ball

Red comes down from the air, and Lily catches it in her mouth. She leaps across the grass enjoying every single moment. When she drops it before me, I pet her head. She quickly collapses onto the ground to ask for a belly rub, and I oblige.

After a few seconds, I throw the red ball again. The ball was with her when I adopted her six years ago. I chose her because the pound said she was the only one potty trained. She has more value besides that.

When she brings the ball back to me, a small rock lands next to her. She jumps away barking at it, but I calm her down. The rocks keep coming from above, but there's no point in worrying. Some people hide in their bunkers, but I don't.

Lilly is panting terribly so I give her some water. I wipe the sweat off my brow. Days have been getting blisteringly hot recently. I heard Siberia reached 30° C yesterday, and it's still only November. Another rock comes down next to me.

I've stopped trying to dodge them. If it hits me, it hits me. No use delaying the inevitable. Lilly is better at dodging them; she's quite athletic. Granted, the rocks would do more damage to her.

I throw the ball again, and a meteor takes it out midair. Lilly barks some more so I sit next to her and pet her. She licks my face, and I smile. If I'm going to die, I'll die happy.

r/AstroRideWrites

I will take the compliment lol.

lol

##Fight Night

Tapping on my window. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a shadow. When I turn to look, the shadow is gone. The lights turn off.

A scream emanates throughout the room. The scream is followed by cheers. There is a party scene in the movie I'm watching. The couple walks out of the room and closes the door behind them. A door inside my house opens in the process.

Soft footsteps travel along the floor below mine. The third and tenth step creaks. The door into my room whines, and a hand touches my shoulder.

"Nobody will hear you scream." A man wearing a brown paper bag holds a knife over me. He plunges the knife down and hits the couch cushion. "What?"

"You came to the wrong house." I punch his elbow. He lets go of the knife in pain. I grab the cushion and toss it across the room. After that, I leap onto the couch and kick him in the face. After leaping behind the couch, I hit him in the stomach. The man slouches away in pain as I shuffle. "Come on. You can do better than that."

The man holds one of his fingers to request a break. I grab a finger and bend it back. He screams in pain. "Oh my god, what that was for."

"You tried to sucker punch me. You don't get the right to complain about fighting dirty," I say. The man lunges at me. He manages to get his arms around my torso and slams me into the wall.

"Now, this is fun." I laugh and kick him in the crotch several times. Then, I grab his torso and throw him to the wall. He lands back first on the ground. "What kind of lame mask is this." I rip off the brown paper bag. The man under the mask looks at me in terror.

"Please. Have mercy." I shove the bag in his mouth.

"You didn't bring in a gun. You didn't bring a back up weapon." I stomp on his arm. "You couldn't even bother to wear a decent mask. Why should I show respect for such a lame serial killer?"

The man starts to cry. I shake my head.

"Pathetic." I grab him by the shirt and stand him up. "Just know that I could kill you if I want to, but I'm not going to because it would be too easy. Now, are you going to break into someone's house and try to kill them again?"

The man shakes his head no.

"Good. Now get out of here."

r/AstroRideWrites

##It Came From the Laptop

Jason sits up in his bed working on his laptop. A client needs their servers updated, and an error is causing him to be up at midnight ruining his Friday. A ping on his laptop breaks his boredom and frustration. It’s an email with the subject line “outside” with no email address.

Hello, Jason. I’ve really enjoyed watching you work for the past sixteen hours, but you need a break. Perhaps I could help.

Jason’s eyes widen, and he aggressively checks the security cameras. They all reveal no would-be intruders standing outside the door. He begins to relax feeling that it’s a stupid prank when he receives another email. This time the subject line is “knock.”

Did you think that I’d be standing outside your door on such a caliginous night? I don’t need to stand by the windows to see you. I can see through all solid objects. I can see through you too.

Panic takes over, and Jason grabs his phone to call the police. The phone screen is black, and it won’t turn on. He plugs it into the wall to charge it. After a few moments, it lights up with a text message from an unknown number.

I’m closer to you now.

The lights outside his bedroom flicker on and off. The vents blow freezing air into the room. He receives another text.

I breached your home long ago. The safety you hold sacred is gone.

Jason grabs the covers and pulls them close. Partially to fight against the cold and partially to satisfy the basic instinct to cover yourself in times of fear. He grabs a bat that he’s always had by the bed. In the right situation, we are all capable of the most terrible crimes. He is ready to defend himself. The speakers in his house emit a robotic laugh and start to talk.

That is not enough to stop me.

The room begins to fog. Through the fog, a silhouette emerges. It reaches out a hand toward Jason who swings his back against him. The fog breaks, but the figure presses onward. Static forms across Jason’s shirt and pulls him closer. Through the fog, Jason sees a large smile. The mouth opens and lunges at Jason.

r/AstroRideWrites