BasileusBasil

BasileusBasil t1_jcj3vag wrote

Competent malevolence might explain its plan, but in an Ozymandias way of doing it. They might explain their reasons and how they pulled it off, but only when everything it's set in motion and nothing can prevent it anymore.

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BasileusBasil t1_j49wt3d wrote

It means almost nothing, but I started to gain weight when I was 9yo and my parents got a divorce. Their relationship thereafter was always really strained and so it was mine and my sister's with our parents, the finances also got strained both by the divorce process and the divided household. It was just some time ago that I was diagnosed with a depression that started sometime before the divorce and it's still around now 22 years later, reinforced by the long periods of poverty, unemployment and the all to real chance that the sum of all of my problems will stop me from starting an indipendent life and a family. When I'm stressed, sad or bored I start to eat a lot of sugary snacks and candies, and start to isolate myself inside the house so I gain weight easily and quickly. My main stressors were/are the lack of a job or the difficulty of paying the debts my mother had incurred in these 22 years. But, everytime we got a brief window of relief between a financial crisis and the other I always got the urge to get back in shape and somewhat managed to do that by going to the gym, eating less and better and by having my time occupied by work so I would spend less time idle and overthinking/getting bored.
I'm almost 31 and I am struggling with depression with suicidal thoughts, obesity, type 2 diabetes, fatty liver disease, long covid and shows signs of faster telomere shortening due to chronic stress (the last one it's still an hypothesis, I know, but I feel like 10 years older and no amount of exercise or weight loss managed to shake away the feeling to this day, i really hope it's just somatization though). Just my experience, but i thought it perfectly fit.

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