ElegantCherries
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8tpykr wrote
Reply to comment by AintNothinButaDream in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
Heh, I'd be your sister from another mister! I'm so glad it gives you some hope. Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one who struggles in this way can be helpful.
That's so kind, thank you so much and 100x the same to you, I hope you can find a way to have some peace with this.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hdvrt wrote
Reply to comment by RemoteMammoth6 in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
I've wondered sometimes if I had ADHD but it just doesn't fit for me.
I think it's trauma-based executive dysfunction. In survival mode I work very well, I just don't know how to function outside of it yet.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hdgcr wrote
Reply to comment by trusty20 in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
Just started reading it, it's spot on so far. Thank you for the recommendation!
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hde6o wrote
Reply to comment by No_Vacation3909 in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Exhaustion is a great way of describing it - I feel that too. I feel a great need to just rest, to just be. I think I am resentful about having to do anything at all at the moment.
The burning building is a great analogy! For me it's always been scrambling up a cliff face, and I can't stop else I'll fall back down into what I came from.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hd9yp wrote
Reply to comment by zaphod_pebblebrox in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
Thank you for your lovely comment. I'm buying a house and starting a grad programme at the moment so I've put therapy on hold until the house at least is sorted. But agreed, it absolutely is a utility!
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hd6wu wrote
Reply to comment by Clever_Mercury in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
This is great and reminds me a lot of my former therapist's reminders to "get curious" about my experience rather than spinning off into that anxiety. Thank you.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hbd0f wrote
Reply to comment by tele68 in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
It can't be fought, I don't think! Sorry you're going through it.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hbbxo wrote
Reply to comment by happyele in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
Thank you for the suggestion. I don't have the capacity to do further therapy right now, but have started reading "The Now Habit" as suggested by another poster, it takes a CBT approach.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hb9pv wrote
Reply to comment by kiffiekat in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
This is exactly it. Exactly.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hb6xs wrote
Reply to comment by lkayman30 in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
I'm so sorry, it feels awful, doesn't it? Especially that bit where everyone thinks you're functioning really well, but you know you're not.
I'm glad you have found a way to cope in the meantime, but wishing you peace.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8hb4r9 wrote
Reply to comment by karanarak09 in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
Thank you for reminding me of this! I get very impatient and think I "should" know how to do this now I've had therapy, but you're absolutely right about the fear response.
ElegantCherries OP t1_j8x2ork wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in How do you get yourself motivated when you've always been driven by threat/anxiety/trauma? [Discussion] by ElegantCherries
I relate to the 'impress the teacher/boss' thing too, and re: your last question, what immediately came into my head was "it's not about being watched, it's about being seen".
We all need to be seen and validated, to know our efforts are on the right track, and ideally we are gently corrected if not, then praised when we get it right.
If we don't get this as children, some of us learn that we can get something like it from pleasing other people. So our brains think that when we do for others, our efforts will be seen and validated. Whereas when we do for ourselves, no-one sees and no-one cares, or they even actively discourage us - so what's the point?
I think this isn't the whole of it by any means, but it could be one small yet important element.