Then make an appointment or call a hotline. If i knew someone was suicidal, i would reach out too. If only so i wouldnt feel guilty if something happened. And btw “spending time with her to distract myself etc etc etc” is asking her to do emotional labor. The words you use dont matter when it is clear what you are asking. A suicidal person saying “oh just tell me if it is too much but let me share my feelings and distract myself” is asking her to shoulder the burden.

If you are an adult, take the steps you need and be an adult

So this reads as you assaulting one woman, finally realizing that you cant make her talk to you about it and going to a different woman to make her do emotional labor. If you cant be alone with your thoughts, there are professionals to assist and hotlines for when you cant get an appointment. My whole point is stop asking women to do emotional labor for you. “If she doesnt feel comfortable to talk about it then she should not feel any obligation”. My dude, you are saying that you have active ideations of suicide right now. There are few people who would not “feel an obligation” in that situation. 988 is free and appears to be international. Call them.

You are not within your rights to make her talk to you about this. Women arent free therapists. Go hire a professional and leave her alone

This this!!! The immediate “breakdown” and “trying not to cry”. Give me a fucking break. OP assaulted her and then made her comfort him!! I know that im reacting because this was the pattern of my abuser but this fucking shit needs to end. OP, leave her alone, get therapy and stop drinking for the foreseeable future.