I get this. Thank you. I agree that her happiness is extremely important. A few things I want to call out:

1. My wife has her own last name.
2. I would have been fine with our kids having a hyphenated last name to begin with but she didn’t mention it at the time and we actively talked about it. She said it would be less of a hassle to just have mine.
3. I would be fine to have even changed my own last name via hyphen but she never brought it up.
4. She’s really against the compromise of having two middles, and the kids current one which myself and our families enjoy and know. We have a bunch of stuff that is embroidered already.

Again, I’m not sure if you saw, but I am leaning towards her getting to change the middle, and not doing what I think is a compromise by having two, and having her explain it to everyone. I suppose I’m just a bit salty about it. I feel like she isn’t compromising.

Sincere thanks. This is my second choice if I can’t convince her to give her two middle names. I’d rather change it and have my wife be happy than do nothing.

No I WANT her to have two middle names if that’s not clear!