Probably the name of the paddle wielded by any American high school vice principal. Though our VP's paddle was named Bertha.

"I... AM... skeet skeet!"

My friend and I used to call this God's Dorito, and we weren't supposed to eat it. We still ate it, but we weren't supposed to.

Narrator: And that's how World War III began.

You don't have an opinion, you're pushing an opinion. That's a difference of a whole word, and maybe this might help you understand that nobody cares what you think.

Meanwhile...

Not too far, now! People mustn't find out you can eat oranges raw, that would be terrible for business!

Meanwhile, at r/mildlyinfuriating...

I keep looking at his left hand like he's doing the 👌 thing, and realize I'm real fucking bad at this game.

I am not a snitch.

The Sun: <unknown threat detected>

This chances of it never happening are possibly higher.

The food coloring probably contained propylene glycol which is a food-safe form of antifreeze. The stuff that kills dogs is ethylene glycol and a lot of paranoid doomsayers really want to conflate the two. We were using propylene glycol mixtures for grocery refrigeration for a while, but in turns out that pumping syrup around the perimeter of a large building isn't a very cost-effective substitute for DX refrigeration.

On the bright side, we could be wiped out by vacuum decay tomorrow!

I don't know why, but I find this information liberating. There's really nobody out there to tell us what is right or wrong. We could die at any moment. We are completely free to make the most of it and enjoy it with one another while it lasts. In the end, we all become part of the complete and natural history of the Milky Way Galaxy inscribed upon the sacred surface of Sagittarius A* where we are slowly digested over the course of trillions of years. Together.

I'd do something like this at work, and my boss would print it out and hang it on the fridge. But, if I pulled together a spreadsheet that scrubs and annualizes last year's weather data for energy calculations instead of using the 50 year old standard data, I'm wasting company resources because no one asked for it.

The other side: free beef.

It's the one thing I remember these guys for.

"I want 105 cards."

/receives 1200

"You motherfuckers just don't get it, do you?"

I like the idea that climate change is the Earth having a fever. They serve the same purpose.

It's like Vulcans hacked into the Internet and feel obligated to shame us for our illogical fun.

They can have my Comcast ShitFinity account when they pry it from my cold, dead cumsock pile.

r/upliftingshareholders

I have no idea, but I don't talk to her anymore. She was raised Mormon so I assume that's where it comes from. She has her 10 year supply of food in the basement, she painted her house bright colors, all this shit she was told to do because the end of days was supposed to happen in her lifetime. A lot of them also believe the Earth is only 7000 years old and that dinosaur fossils were put there by Lucifer to deceive us. It's best to just keep them at arm's length. lol

My mother is one of those religious types. She believes if you donate organs, it's going to make it harder for Jesus to resurrect you after the Rapture or some shit. I'm like, "the Dude could just make me new organs," but she thinks everyone is going to be literal zombies coming back to life in their old bodies.

Personally, I opt in every fucking time not just because it's the right thing to do but to spite that old cow. Chop me up, sell me on dahmerdash.com, make me a cadaver so some intern can play with my micropenis. I don't care; just have fun.

Vulcanism is also correct.