Landlubber77

Landlubber77 t1_j28bwu6 wrote

"That dress is fire girl."

"Aw you're sweet, this old thing?"

"Yeah no, you're literally engulfed in flames right now."

"Staahp you're making me blush."

"I don't think that's blush, you're burning to death right here in this very moment."

"Well aren't you the charmer, maybe buy me a drink."

"Lady, I'd buy you an entire goddamn fire hydrant full of water, you are on fucking fire!"

"You're making me so hot, stranger."

"Yeah I think they actually turned the heat on a minute ago or at least cut off the air cond--ope, no, she's dead."

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Landlubber77 t1_j23hvoi wrote

> Fellow Olympians officially protested Roth's victory -- the silver and bronze medal recipients refused to take the podium with him -- as they contended his inflamed appendix gave him more buoyancy and led to his victory. A review of his time splits did indicate that he had swam faster with appendicitis than ever before, and physicians consulted during the controversy agreed that it was possible his condition provided him with an advantage over the other swimmers.

That wiley minx went and gave himself appendicitis knowing it would put him atop the podium, ingenuity like that deserves a gold medal.

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Landlubber77 t1_j23gx8f wrote

We went whitewater rafting in the Nantahala River and the safety briefing video has a charming depiction of a person attempting to stand up after falling out of the raft, only to get their feet trapped and then their head continues to get pushed underwater by the rushing river and they drown. If you fall out of the raft, get on your back and enjoy the ride.

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Landlubber77 t1_j21jpj0 wrote

> A passage wherein a prostitute sat on Pinocchio's face and implored him to "lie to me, lie to me!" was especially divergent from the story modern audiences would come to know.

We need an adaptation of the original and I mean fucking immediately.

39

Landlubber77 t1_j1zxheu wrote

The 'Burbs is criminally underrated and lost to history.

"Satan is good, Satan is our pal, I want to kill ev-ry-one."

"Hey man, when's this happening, I gotta go to work."

"Hey man, piss off!"

40

Landlubber77 t1_j1t23l3 wrote

We just changed our Alexa back to her woman voice after getting tired of the dude's voice we changed it to a while back. After the Boxing Day question her second question was about Steve Irwin having a favorite tortoise from the Galápagos Islands which I'm 100% certain has already been a question of the day she's asked before. I've never heard her repeat a question, I almost felt bad taking the points she gave me for getting it right. Then again those points are about as useful/real as Reddit karma so I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.

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